Role Change
by Tanith Panic
Summary: For three people in the ED changes are on their way. One faces having to readjust to his body's needs, the other faces a dangerous situation that could lead to a badly broken heart. For the third, a lot of patience and love will be needed. Thanks to Sweeet-as-Honey for her input.
1. Chapter 1

ROLE CHANGE

(This is another AU story, and features Lofty, Dylan, Cal and Ethan. This time, however, the relationship between Dylan and Lofty is pure bromance and they're both straight. When a horrific accident changes his life, Ethan has to struggle with adjusting to his new situation. Will he cope? Meanwhile, Lofty is drawn into a situation that could bring him both heartbreak and danger. Thanks once again to lovely Sweeet-as-Honey for her generous input.)

January 2015

Robyn, Cal and Ethan leapt to their feet and applauded enthusiastically as the cast of the musical version of "Dear Brutus" took their bows. They had been surprisingly impressed by Ben Chiltern, or Lofty, as he was affectionately known, who had played the jaded, cynical alcoholic Dearth. Not only could he sing but his acting was spot-on as well. True, it was an amateur production and Ben wouldn't get a penny for his hard work, but that only confirmed how he loved his hobby. He'd even taken a precious week's leave to appear in the show.

"Ben, you knocked our socks off" nurse Robyn Miller told him later in the pub when he'd bought everybody drinks with his usual generosity.

"You impressed me, mate" handsome Doctor Caleb Knight told him.

"Does this pub sell pies?" mused Doctor Ethan Hardy, who, despite his slight build, could eat like an ogre.

In the corner, two men watched the small group. One of the men was heavy-built and looked, cliché though it was, like everybody's favourite uncle. He had greying hair and was in his mid-fifties. His colleague was tall, painfully thin, blond and gave an aura of coldness. He was younger than 'favourite uncle' and looked a deal less trustworthy.

"He is the one" 'favourite uncle' affirmed.

"He has fulfilled the criteria. Well, thank goodness we fly back tomorrow and will not need to come to this city again for at least two months. Let us hope that Mr Chiltern does not decide to leave the country till then."

'Favourite Uncle' laughed.

"I doubt he will be going anywhere for a while on a Nurse's wages."

The blond snowman merely nodded.

Before these two returned to Holby, two lives would already have been devastated. Their return would devastate a third life.

"So was he good?" Dr Dylan Keogh asked Cal the next day.

"He was brilliant. You'll get a treat on Friday, mate."

"I hope so. It was a bit of a blow that I couldn't get Dervla into Doggy Day Care last night. They've promised me they'll have her on Friday so I'm trying my luck with a ticket for the show that night."

What Dylan meant was that he had a ticket for Friday's performance of Dear Brutus sitting in his drawer.

Iain and Dixie, the affable but competent paramedics, rushed through with a woman on a trolley.

"This is Aileen, thirty-five years old, broken arm and facial injuries. Suspected domestic violence…" Dixie lowered her voice.

Aileen was rushed to Cubicle Six, where Doctor Ethan Hardy waited. He became aware of a tall, muscular man rushing alongside the trolley.

"Please, Sir, you can't be in here."

Dermot Bassett glared at the young doctor.

"She's my wife and I want to stay here with her-"

Iain put his hand on the man's arm, with enough pressure to show that he could turn nasty if he had to.

"Wait outside, please, Sir. Better still, how about going and getting a coffee and letting Doctor Hardy do his job?"

"I want to talk to my F***ing WIFE!"

Ethan came over.

"Sir, I appreciate you're anxious about Aileen but we need you to let us do our job."

"Five minutes" growled Dermot, and went off to get a coffee.

Aileen gave a groan of pain.

"We'll get you something for that; Robyn, we need…" and Ethan was fully in charge.

"Aileen" Ethan said gently when the painkilling injection had been given, "Anything you tell us in here will be treated in the strictest confidence."

Aileen whispered:

"It's his job. He's under pressure…"

Dermot Bassett burst into the cubicle.

"What's she been saying?" he bawled.

"Come along, Sir, I need you out of here while I treat Aileen…"

Ethan grabbed Dermot's arm. As Robyn pressed the security alarm, Dermot not only shook the slim form off, but threw a punch at Ethan, knocking the young doctor to the floor. There was a sickening noise and the pain for Ethan was unbearable. He sank into merciful unconsciousness.

When he came round he found himself on a trolley and Cal the one walking beside him. He felt another wave of nausea and was grateful for the bowl placed under his nose.

"Ethan, where are you feeling the pain?"

"My back…"

"Anywhere else?"

"Can't feel it anywhere else."

"Okay, we're taking you for an X ray and a MRI scan. We'll also see you get a CT scan, in case of internal bleeding."

Ethan nodded, but felt sick in spirit as well as in body. One afternoon, doing his job, and now his life could be changed forever. Nightmare scenarios were racing through his mind.

Two months later

Lofty came off shift later than usual but not begrudging the time under the circumstances. The good news was that Ethan's back was healing and would improve over time; the bad that he'd already been put through a lot of treatment and soon would need indefinite therapy before this could happen.

He sauntered through the carpark and was making for the road where he could pick up a late bus, when he heard a quiet voice saying:

"Mr Chiltern, please get in the car."

He looked round slowly, unease filling his mind.

Two men sat in a car that obviously couldn't be bought on a NHS worker's wage without a massive loan. One was tall and angular, with the coldest eyes Lofty had ever seen. The other looked like everybody's favourite uncle.

He was about to walk away when the request was made a fraction louder than before. He saw the gun in the younger man's hand.

The carpark was deserted. If he ran for it he'd be injured at the least.

Trying not to let the fear envelop him, he walked to the car and took the seat indicated.


	2. Chapter 2

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER TWO

Lofty's mind raced. Was this some angry relative of a patient who'd died during one of his shifts? _What_ was this?

"Karl" 'Favourite Uncle' said almost as if he was cajoling the younger man, "Why do you feel the need to play the bully?"

Karl sullenly put the gun away.

"I'm sorry if we've made you nervous, Mr Chiltern – or could I call you Ben? My name, by the way, is David."

"Nervous? Whatever gave you that idea? Just because you force me to get into your car at gunpoint? And where in hell are you taking me?"

"Just to my apartment" 'Favourite Uncle' replied.

Hundreds of theories filled Ben's head, but he stayed silent.

"Here we are"

This is bloody surreal" thought Ben, but he couldn't help admiring the luxurious room they were showing him into. David rang a bell on the desk and almost instantly, a smiling maid appeared.

"Cointreau for me, neat Vodka for Karl, and- what will you have, Ben?"

"Coffee please. I'm working tomorrow."

The maid actually curtseyed and left the room.

"Let me start by saying that we were both impressed by your acting skills the other month when we saw you in the amateur musical."

"Oh whoopee. And you've brought me here at gunpoint to tell me that!"

David reached into his wallet and took out a photograph.

"Do you recognise this photograph, Ben?" he asked with a smile.

Ben stared in disbelief.

"Yeah; it's me with a dodgy haircut! What the f**k is going on?"

"That" Karl replied icily, "Is Prince Stefan of Corvaine."

Ben gaped for a moment and then asked:

"And how does this involve me?"

"Corvaine needs a male heir and Prince Stefan is unable to provide one" Karl replied tersely.

"You mean he's impotent?" Ben asked, wondering why he was even having this conversation.

"He does not enjoy relationships with women like a normal man."

Ben wanted to punch Karl.

"The poor sod's gay?" Ben shrugged, then added:

"But loads of gay men have fathered kids."

"Prince Stefan has contracted a disease because of his perversions. He is dying."

Oh, you cold-hearted bastard, thought Ben.

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap" quoted Karl, catching Ben's look.

Ben got to his feet.

"Forget the coffee. I've heard enough of this crap and I'm leaving."

David put his hand on Ben's arm.

"Mr Chiltern – Ben – Prince Stefan was due to marry Princess Sara of Doranis. Nobody but you, myself and Karl know about his illness. If the marriage goes ahead and a child is conceived, it would strengthen the alliance between our two small countries. If the alliance doesn't happen both our country would be prey to stronger, greedier nations who would take advantage of our vulnerability. They would take what they wanted by force… you have heard the term 'collateral damage'?"

Ben had and privately thought it was a euphemism for the term 'legal murder'. But he was wavering a little. Then he faced facts and snapped:

"You seriously expect me to uproot myself and come over to your country, stand in for a Prince, marry a woman I don't know, and perform stud services for her? And, oh, here's the interesting bit."

He imitated a voice with a Holby accent.

"Not seen that Ben Chiltern round here lately… oh, it's okay, there he is on television pretending to be a Prince."

David spoke calmly and reasonably.

"We do not have the luxury of television or the Internet in Corvaine. We have radio, but you would receive voice training to sound like Stefan."

"I would if I were agreeing to this, but seeing as it's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard, I think I'll say goodnight, gentlemen. Close the door after me."

He began to stride out but David laid his hand gently on his arm.

"Ben, please. Think of the innocent civilians who would die. Listen, all you would have to do is to act as Stefan until an heir is conceived, then there could be a discreet funeral-"

"-Whose? Stefan's or Ben Chiltern's? How do I know you won't put a neat little hole in the back of my head once you've done with my services?"

"I swear to you that you would be flown home quietly and you could resume your life again."

"See, that's another thing" Ben argued, "This could take well over a year, assuming the lady conceives. If I'm missing from NHS work for so long it'll be almost impossible to resume my job without retraining. I'm not quite the bleeding heart you seem to think I am."

"After what we have to offer you, you may not even want to consider nursing as a career. Have you heard of Nicolas Lascelles?"

Nobody with any appreciation of musical theatre could fail to know about Nick Lascelles. The vocal coach had worked with some of the finest, and had brought out the vocal talent in the not-so-fine.

"If Prince Stefan were to demand lessons from Nicholas Lascelles, who would be fool enough to refuse him? And when you return to the UK you could have a West End career."

"But a year at least away from my family and friends? I don't know."

Karl eyed him with contempt but answered:

"If you had the sense to be discreet, you would be allowed visits back here. There would be nothing wrong with Prince Stefan visiting the rest of Europe. Now please stop listing the impossibilities, Mr Chiltern, and see sense."

"I'll let you know tomorrow" Ben stated.

David nodded.

"Then tomorrow, come to the Hotel Mercure and ask for us at eight pm. I am David Schaefer and this is Karl Bonner."

Ben shook hands with them and left. He had all but made up his mind to tell them the next day that this charade was over before it begun.

"Ethan, _please._ "

"I've had enough" Ethan snapped, turning away from his brother, "Three months of wearing a sodding spinal brace, painkiller injections and God knows what else, Mrs bloody Beauchamp has decided to inform me that I'll still need surgery! And it can't be here; I have to go to Peterborough for it. Maybe more than once if things don't work out the first time. Then she calmly sat there listing everything that could go wrong! "Opiates can have unpleasant side-effects, Ethan" she said in that snotty little voice of hers."

Ethan banged the wall in rage:

I'll have to donate my own blood units for the operation, there'll be blood and pee tests… I wish I was f***ing dead, Cal!"

"Hey, snap out of that!" Cal wanted to be sympathetic but knew what attitude would work best in this case, _"You'll get there, Ethan. You will get there_."

Ethan gave his brother a vicious look.

"And meanwhile I've got to look forward to a sodding care worker coming every day to help me wash, help me feed… just like a bloody baby. A stranger pawing me about and making me feel like the most useless bugger on earth."

"No that won't happen" Cal replied gently, "I'll be here for you. Yeah, even for the ugly bits, like taking you for a pee or worse. I'll drive you to the appointments, and I'll bring you back afterwards."

"You'll need indefinite leave-"

"-No I won't" Cal said evenly, "I quit my job today. I'll be looking out for you twenty-four seven, little brother. NOW what's wrong?"

Ethan was sobbing like a child.

He blew his nose on a tissue that had seen better days – Cal hastily binned it and replace it with a pristine one – and said:

"You'll be more or less giving up your own life till I'm cured… IF I'm cured. Why?"

"Because, Nibbles, you're my greedy, whiney, special little brother. And I'm going to make damn sure I'm there for you. Get it?"

Ethan turned his face to Cal and sobbed into his chest. Cal held him.

When he looked back, Cal could remember that evening as the one when things began to get better.

For now, at least, his cynical brain added the afterthought.

Sorry to the Cal and Ethan fans that Lofty had a slightly bigger share of this chapter, but there will be much more to come for the brothers.


	3. Chapter 3

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER THREE

Dylan, Robyn and Max sat in the pub, their faces like the proverbial wet weekends.

"Poor Ethan won't be working again for a long time, Cal I can understand, but Ben? He just jacked in his job, told us he was moving out, maybe for good, and won't tell us where he's going."

Dylan wanted to snap at Robyn to shut up; he didn't want to think about Ben's departure. Mainly because the more he thought about it, the more the whole thing seemed incongruous with the Ben he knew and, if he were being honest, loved like a brother. Dylan was uneasy.

"He even sneaked off without letting us have a leaving do for him."

Max had been looking forward to an excuse to get seriously drunk. His split with Zoe still dominated life for him, although he was reluctant to build bridges in case he was hurt again.

"Do you think Ben's in some kind of trouble?" he asked, making Dylan want to stab him.

"Looks as if we'll never find out. But we'll not have a chance to brood about it tomorrow. Two doctors and a nurse gone; Connie will be making everybody jump through hoops until we get replacements." Robyn, for once, was being the realist.

"Maybe we should have a leaving do for them tonight anyway" Max suggested hopefully, but the glare from Dylan shut him up immediately.

"You've booked Dervla into Doggie Day Care till the day after next, haven't you?" Robyn began.

"Robyn, I feel more like doing the naked tango with Donald Trump than going on a stupid pub crawl and ending up feeling like a spare part in a nightclub" Dylan quashed the 'leaving do' suggestion once and for all. He grabbed his coat and walked out.

"Work's going to be fun tomorrow" Max snapped, but didn't get up straight away. The last thing he or Robyn wanted was for Dylan to think they were stalking him home.

"Cal, I'm scared" Ethan blurted out as Cal was driving him to the hospital. Ethan was to have surgery there the following day and needed to be admitted that night.

"I'm not surprised! Eight whole hours without food, how will you cope?" teased his elder brother.

"Sleep as much as possible overnight!"

Cal was relieved that Ethan would be observed by the staff overnight; he trusted Ethan, who, even though he loved his food, had been meticulously careful not to do anything that might jeopardise his success rate, but knew the staff could help boost his brother's morale.

"I'm glad you're okay to go through with this" Cal observed.

"Well of course I'm going through with it! I've already given them a load of my blood in advance; they can damn well finish the job! And are you going to do what _you_ promised?"

"When the time's right" shrugged Cal.

"Caleb! If I come out of this surgery with good results, are you going to think about getting a part-time job?"

"I'm not up for discussing that until you're at least on the road to recovery."

Cal pulled a face that, if he hadn't been so handsome, could have been compared to that of a mule. Ethan was forced to laugh.

"Seriously, though, I've stolen enough of your life…"

"Do you want me to stop this bloody car and drive you home again? Because if you come out with bull like that, I might just! You did NOT steal my life. I wanted to help you and as you've reminded me, there might be work for me in the future. Now are you going to shut up or am I going to do what I did last time you were in hospital?"

Ethan shuddered as he remembered. He'd gone into Holby with a minor fracture and had been dreading the injection. As the nurse asked Ethan if he was all right, Cal had cut in smoothly:

"Well he's sulking because we've forgotten to bring his fluffy rabbit for him to cuddle…"

Ethan had not been amused.

"I will never forget or forgive what you did to my street cred that day."

Cal sniggered.

Ben, meanwhile, already felt like a prisoner. He'd hoped to fly to Corvaine himself but Karl and David had insisted that this could be unwise,

and had arranged for him to fly in their private plane. They were changing him already; he'd been taken to an exclusive hair stylist in London

who had cut quite a bit off his hair; he still had the curls but they were no longer tumbling over his forehead. Soon he'd be learning the

dubious joys of elocution, etiquette and dance lessons. Thank goodness English was spoken in Corvaine; he would never have mastered a

foreign language. As he sat now behind Karl and David, sipping the coffee the assistant had brought for him, he pondered the last few days.

It hadn't been the promise of the singing lessons, or knowing he would live in relative luxury for over a year that had finally made him agree to

this insane plan. It had been the nightmare he'd had about war. A baby, screaming in terror, trapped in a bed in a burning room, with nobody

to help it any more. He'd awoken with tears running down his face, every detail of the baby's features locked in his mind.

"Do something amazing today; prevent a war" he thought to himself ironically and almost began to laugh.

A view of Karl's sour face prevented him.

"Mr Knight."

The consultant was walking towards Cal, who was haggard from lack of sleep.

"Yes?"

"Mainly good news; the operation seems to have been successful and Ethan's responded well. However there are likely to be side effects. He

will lose a lot of his sense of balance for a long period which in turn will very likely leave him with depression. He'll need to stay in here a while

longer – we're looking at up to a week – and will need to learn new ways of sitting, standing and moving. The drain that was placed in the

incision site has to draw fluids and will have to remain there for a few days. He might not be able to eat solid foods for some time. If there

were any issues with the operation, it could be months before they become apparent. He will have to wear the back brace again, for about six weeks. But apart from that, he should be fully mobile again in time."

Cal gave a deep sigh of relief. He'd do whatever it took to help Ethan get his life back. All he hoped for now was that Ethan would be willing

to fight to become better.

Just a note about Lofty's haircut; his hair in this story is more likely to look as it did when Lofty first joined the ED but nothing more severe than that.


	4. Chapter 4

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER FOUR

Ethan continued to improve after his operation, though, to the impatient young doctor it wasn't soon enough. He certainly proved the cliché that doctors make the worst patients, to be true.

His particular gripe the week after the operation was that he was desperate to eat solid foods.

"It's not as if I injured my guts" he groaned.

"Yeah, and it's not as if they starve you. Look at that massive soup and that king-size yoghurt you just had." Cal had decided that teasing was the best option for Ethan in his present frame of mind. Ethan, however, growled:

"I want a bloody steak!"

He also loathed the back brace that he was forced to wear despite Cal's assurance that he looked like a cop or superhero in it.

"And don't tell me it helps with my bone fusion; I KNOW it does, but I'm sick of it, Cal. I just want to be normal again."

"Were you ever normal, Nibbles?"

Ethan turned his face into the pillow but Cal could see from the twitch of his brother's shoulders that his gibe had brought a little light relief.

What was preying on Cal's mind was the warning the surgeon had given Ethan and himself that it could be a good six months before it could be determined whether the operation had been successful or not. They both just wanted Ethan's back to heal and the nightmare to be over.

For all his grumbling, Ethan toed the line and when he was next examined was told that he could go home at the end of the week if he had somebody to perform carer's duties twenty-four seven.

Cal's voice was so cheerful neither his brother nor the consultant would have known he was groaning inwardly:

"That'll be me then."

Cal hadn't realised just how much he'd have to alter his lifestyle to look after Ethan. The back brace that his younger brother wore had to be washed daily with mild soap and water, then the inside dried with a hairdryer. As Ethan wasn't able to shower or bathe, Cal had to sponge-wash him every day. Despite the grumbling that Cal had fully expected about this, "having to be washed like a baby", Ethan began to accept his situation and even make light of some of it.

"Hey look" Ethan waved the doctor's notes at Cal, "I can loosen my brace to eat."

Then, when he spotted something else,

"Now there's a tragedy. I can't have sex till after my next appointment. When the hell do I ever get to have sex anyway?"

He gradually came to appreciate everything Cal was doing for him. After a busy shift Cal would come home and massage Ethan's back. He paid for a 'riser' to be fitted on the toilet seat and a chair for use in the shower.

"It's looking more like a Travelodge wet room every day" Ethan said of the bathroom.

"I had some of my finest moments in a Travelodge wet room" Cal replied, sounding perfectly serious.

Over in Corvaine, Ben Chiltern was going through a different set of procedures altogether. Fortunately his acting experience, although

amateur, helped him significantly. He soon mastered Stefan's clipped tones. "Snotty" he privately described his Stefan voice. His speed at

reading lines meant he memorise the copious notes handed to him by Karl and David, and, as they'd advised, was able to take several pages

a week to the shredder. For once they'd not told him to ask a servant to perform this duty; it was better that Ben saw the documents

destroyed. He could also imitate Stefan's stiff-backed walk to perfection. Not that he was taught by the poor, terminally ill prince, a tutor who

had been threatened with the consequences of talking about his mission, drilled Ben daily in parroting the Prince's voice and movements.

He fared less well with the dancing lessons. Stefan had a sound knowledge of different ballroom dances, including the tango. Ben could

dance the kind of steps needed for musical theatre but there was always room for improvisation in these dances. With Bachetti, his dance

tutor, every movement had to be spot-on. Bachetti had a cruel tongue and knew some hurtful insults, and Ben learned them all in the four

weeks up to his marriage to Princess Sara.

The thing that he had to work at the hardest – at least that was what he thought then – was riding a horse.

"Surely Princes use cars now?" he asked, shocked, earning David's patronising smile and Karl's sneer.

"Stefan is a renowned horseman. He exercises his horse for at least two hours daily."

Ben wished he'd brought some soothing cream with him from the ED. His butt would be needing it.

Back in the ED Max commented on Cal and Ethan's changed lives during a break.

"I don't know if I could do all that for somebody."

"You would if it was your brother, Max" Charlie assured him.

"Maybe. But I think Cal's going to struggle, especially if it means not dating any more. You know Cal and his ladies."

Cal went to check his post one morning. He saw an official-looking letter addressed to him, and read it. His heart dropped. Before, when he

and Ethan had hoped the back injuries weren't as extensive as they could be, he'd applied for a voluntary job as a health visitor who would

supervise a mini-bus service that took physically handicapped people to the local gym. They'd accepted his application and wanted him to

attend an interview.

He sighed and slipped the letter to the back of a drawer.

Later, he settled Ethan in a favourite armchair, after giving him his breakfast, and put the dvd of 'Cloud Atlas' into the player. Not realising that

he'd put the discs back into the wrong cases and Ethan would actually end up watching – or starting to watch – Magic Mike, which amused Cal and bored Ethan. Then he went out to buy the paper and some basic groceries.

When he came back Ethan was glaring at him.

"What's wrong, Nibbles? Hungry?"

Ethan picked up the letter and brandished it.

"WHY haven't you acted on this?"

Cal recognised the letter and looked away.

"It's not possible now, Nibbles."

"You mentioned getting a carer in for me now and then. Why can't I have a carer tomorrow so you can get to your interview – you'll have to move fast if you want to ring them up to confirm you're going – and back again? And if you get the post, why can't I have the carer on those days?"

Ethan couldn't stand up to Cal any more but his angry eyes followed Cal round the room until Cal had first of all booked a carer for Ethan the next day and then called to confirm that he'd be attending the interview.

"I'm sorry it's at such short notice" he began, and the man on the other end of the phone laughed.

"Mr Knight, the other interested applicant just called us to let us know that he's not interested in unpaid work. Eleven o' clock suit you?"

Cal nodded, and ran across to Ethan. He wanted to scoop his brother into a bear hug but settled for patting his arm and thanking him.

"You're okay. And next time, keep your rotten Magic Mike in its own cover!"

Ben patted Melusine. He'd grown to love her over the past three weeks despite the bruises when she'd thrown him. But with dogged perseverance he'd kept trying.

"You and me against the world, Horsey."

His world would change even more the next day when he'd meet his fiancée Princess Sara. He knew it was shallow but he hoped she'd be

pretty. Pretty or not, what really made him uneasy was that she would be a stranger to him but she'd met Stefan already some years ago

when she'd spent time in Corvaine.

The Grand Reception took place the next day, according to Corvanien tradition. He sat formally, but not too stiffly, on the hard backed gold

chair in the Reception Room. At exactly six o' clock, the doors opened and Sandor Van Arlen, the Prime Minister, entered with Stefan's fiancée on his arm.

He rose gracefully to his feet – it had been a long time before he had been able to do it gracefully – and extended his hand as Sandor

announced:

"Prince Stefan Alexander Edwin of Corvaine; Princess Sara Fleurette of Doranis."

She was small and slight, and more attractive than pretty. Her large hazel eyes dominated her face; her lips were full and her teeth perfect.

Her long chestnut hair was piled on top of her head in a loose French knot. But Ben would notice those details later. All he noticed now was

that, under the brief, practised smile that she gave him, her face was clearly full of loathing for him.


	5. Chapter 5

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER FIVE

A/N: As this is a AU story the current Huntington's Disease plot won't apply here.

Cal was relieved that Sue, the carer, arrived well before he needed to leave for his interview at the Medical Centre. Sue was a chubby, pleasant woman in her late thirties and reminded Cal a little of Robyn. He'd lost a little sleep the previous night, worrying that Ethan might be difficult about his going out after all, but Ethan immediately felt a bond with Sue, even though she told him that the 'Full English' he'd been hoping for would have to be modified in accordance with the high-fibre diet he'd been prescribed.

"We'll ease you in gently, Ethan, and change your toast to high-fibre and add some fruit afterwards, if you can still manage fruit after your eggs and bacon."

Cal snorted.

"He could manage a dinosaur after eggs and bacon! There was once a poem pinned up in the ED about what people were having on their lunch breaks:

"Lofty's got cheese and pickle,

Cal's got something in a box,

Robyn's got a chicken wrap-

Ethan's got half an ox."

Ethan bristled but it was his good-humoured, playful bristling, not a tantrum. Sue, who had the most infectious giggle, found this hilarious.

With Sue's prompt arrival and Ethan's good mood, Cal was waiting in the reception area ten minutes early.

The Health Advisor, Mark, smiled on seeing this.

"That's really helpful, as you can be filling in this questionnaire before the interview. I'll come and get you soon."

"So you were actually a doctor? Why did you quit your job?" was Mark's first question.

Cal felt a moment of unease, wondering how much his honest answers to the questionnaire would work against him. He might be the only applicant but they'd still turn a bad one away rather than choose an incompetent one.

"My younger brother sustained a back injury during his shift – he was a doctor at the same hospital. He was attacked. I gave up my job so I could care for him but he's making a good recovery and is happy with the idea of carers coming in once or twice a week. He was actually the one who urged me to try for this job."

"Ah, I see. We'd need you to be there three days a week, Cal; Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Mondays and Wednesdays from eight forty- five to one pm; Fridays from twelve to three-thirty. Could you do that?"

"Yes; no problem."

Mark continued to ask questions and to inform Cal more about the job. He warned him that some of the passengers on the mini bus could be a little disruptive; some could need more attention than others, and there were one or two really introverted ones.

"Sophia's good at handling them all in different ways."

"Sophia?"

"The instructress at the gym. You'll meet her on Monday if you get the job."

The interview concluded with Mark telling Cal he wouldn't be writing or phoning him about the result of the interview. Cal sighed inwardly; he'd been sure he'd not done badly.

Mark smiled.

"I'm impressed, Cal, and I'm offering you the job outright. Can you start on Monday?"

Ben was going through hell while Cal and Ethan's luck seemed to be slowly improving. During the times they needed to be together, he couldn't help remembering the look on Sara's face when she'd 'met' him at the Reception. She was too quiet and polite to be outwardly rude to him but he knew how she felt, and the brief times they were alone proved this. What really hurt Ben was that the more she rebuffed him, the more he realised he was falling for her.

David had instructed him about Stefan's manner in public; polite but never over-friendly towards anyone. Ben had to remember never to let his smile reach his eyes. He once earned a glare from Karl after he'd smiled at the servant who had brought his coffee and had started to say "Oh thank you…" then had to amend it to a sharp "You may go." He loathed himself for such behaviour. He suddenly noticed Sara looking curiously at him but when he turned to glance at her again, the old unease and dislike was back. Maybe she was in love with somebody else and f*cking Karl warned him off, he thought sadly. He was still determined to look after her, however much she loathed him.

As part of their pre-wedding duties, they attended the ballet one evening. Ben maintained Stefan's polite, cold smile but when he glanced furtively at Sara he could see she was rapt. Is it ballet she loves, or the romance, he wondered.

"You enjoyed that; I could tell" he remarked afterwards.

"Yes, and as I remember you do not enjoy the ballet, Stefan."

"It is my pleasure to attend anything you enjoy" he told her.

Again, the resentful look from Sara. He wished he could be alone with her, drop the cold mask he had to wear, and find out just what made her tick.

Monday came round. Cal was ready and waiting to drive the mini bus and greeted everybody with a friendly smile as he was introduced to them. Chubby Stan Kelham, who didn't enjoy the gym but who loved his hour in the swimming pool located in the same building. Nervous Jeannie Hammond, who had balance issues and who kept apologising for her clumsiness and her need for help in boarding and alighting from the bus.

"It's bad at my age; there are older people on here who really push themselves" she sighed.

"Jeannie, I have a brother younger than myself who has a back injury that's slowly healing. He needs a lot of help still. Age doesn't come into it" Cal reassured her.

"Is he as good-looking as you?" yelled Denise Kirby, who liked to be seen and heard. A pensioner, Denise was proud of the fact that she could still do a competent exercise regime. She was one of the people who had contributed to Jeannie's self-guilt.

Now she'd contributed to making the normally confident Caleb Knight blush.

"Who's he with today then?" she asked Cal now.

"Today a carer's come in to sit with him."

"You want to get 'em in full-time. A good-looking lad like you should be out enjoying himself."

Cal looked down and bit his lip, not wanting to tell her to mind her own bloody business. Mark, fortunately, took over:

"What have we talked about before, Denise?"

"Sorry" Denise replied, chastened. At least for the time being.

Cal helped Mark get everybody off the mini-bus as it drew up in the carpark behind the gym.

Denise strutted on ahead, which gave Mark the satisfaction of asking her to keep with the group. Stan's eyes shone in anticipation of a whole hour of his beloved swimming.

Jeannie struggled, but had to hold the wall and looked down, her face red. Mark was going over to help when he saw Cal was already on to it.

"Come on Jeannie, give me a treat on my first day; let me hold a pretty lady's arm" he teased.

Jeannie smiled and enjoyed her moment.

Cal was not prepared for his moment, to say the least.

"Sophia, this is Cal, our new bus driver. I'm sure he'd like to take advantage of these facilities for a while. I'll give you fifteen minutes' notice to get ready for the return journey, but for now, Cal… enjoy!"

Sophia Anderson was tall. She had a perfectly toned figure, hazel eyes that looked as if they were always on the verge of twinkling with amusement, an olive complexion and glossy black hair that looked as if it owed nothing to the latest colourants.

Her smile almost finished Cal.

"Okay, now I'll need to keep abandoning you to help the others out – coming in a minute, Denise! – but first of all if you could just fill in this short health questionnaire, I'll come back and we'll set up a programme for you."

Cal decided to keep the fact that he'd used the gym nearly every day while he worked in the ED quiet for now; it would have seemed arrogant on his part and he didn't want to offend Sophia in any way possible. He was feeling a euphoria that he'd not experienced since Ethan's accident.


	6. Chapter 6

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER SIX

A/N: Warning: Mentions of rape

During the next week things were so hectic for Ben and Sara that apart from the photography sessions the next time he was with her again was at the wedding. She looked exquisite to Ben, the creamy-coloured wedding dress clinging to her slim figure, her chestnut hair piled into loose ringlets that framed her face. Ben felt ridiculously like a character in a musical comedy, with the braided jacket, the sash and the medals, but he did hear a couple of maids commenting on how handsome he looked. It was like water off a duck's back to Ben, it wouldn't matter if he were as handsome as Johnny Depp if Sara loathed him. He spoke his own vows from the heart apart from using Stefan's name, but Sara recited hers clearly and correctly – and without emotion.

Dinner, then an interminable ball followed, and then came the wedding night.

Ben entered the suite, dismissed the servants for the night, and found Sara already in their huge bed which suggested to him that she was shy to undress in front of him. He had to admit that was a relief. She looked tiny and vulnerable and he just wanted to hug her close, to tell her he cared for her and that he was sorry if she was carrying a broken heart for anyone else. He stifled the natural feelings of a man alone with a beautiful woman out of compassion and just said:

"It has been an exhausting day, Sara. Shall we just sleep now?"

"As you wish, Stefan" she replied coldly, "But sooner or later I have to give you a child – we may as well get this over."

 _"_ _We might as well get this over."_

The bitterness and hostility in those words cut him to the heart and his own reply was sharp:

"Thank you but I take no pleasure in legal rape. Tonight we just sleep."

Despite his words to her she still lay rigid and unmoving in the bed. He turned his face to the pillow and let the tears of hurt and exhaustion come.

Ben's misery continued for at least a week afterwards. He knew that as soon as Sara gave birth to a son, he could return to England, but the thought of taking her coldly and mechanically repelled him. He tried to ease the atmosphere by making small-talk but to no avail. She just lay there with that lost, empty look on her face.

Cal, on the other hand, was enjoying himself. It didn't matter to him that he wasn't being paid, though he knew that once he was satisfied that Ethan had recovered enough from his injury and the after-effects that he would have to find a job.

He enjoyed talking to all the travellers on the mini-bus, even the noisy Denise, and most of all he loved his workout. Not only did it give him a chance to be close to Sophia but he was getting a top-class workout into the bargain.

One thing was worrying him though. Ethan had attended the appointment to have his brace removed and, though he was rapidly improving, his balance was very unsteady. He would walk round holding on to walls and any loud noises seemed to upset him, because when they unnerved him and made him jump, he panicked.

Cal came home from one of his gym days to find Ethan in tears.

"Cal, I-I'm scared to go out alone. What if I fall down?"

"You silly b*gger, you're not going to fall down because I'll get you out and about when I'm not at the gym."

"And supposing I want to go out when it's not a gym day? Cal, I'm sick of this. I want my life back!"

Cal's heart dropped. It had been a long time since Ethan had been this low; he'd been improving every day.

"Sue would take you out" he began.

"Yeah, good old Sue can wheel me out in a pushchair!" snapped Ethan.

It looked as if Angry Ethan was back in the house.

He confided in Sophia, who advised him to be patient with Ethan's fear while at the same time encouraging him if he tried to walk more. He even decided to ask for Jeannie's input, hoping she wouldn't mind. She told him she was glad to talk about her balance issues as it was reassuring for others to consider her feelings instead of just dismissing her as having a mental as well as a physical problem.

"All I can tell you is that some days I feel on top of things and others I'm back to square one. One thing that drives me mad is when people say to me "But you were confident outside last week, what's changed? So if Ethan makes progress, and then goes back to being uneasy, please don't push him. He'll have a good week again sooner or later."

Cal valued the advice from everybody but, he had to admit, especially from Sophia. He started to wonder if she had a significant other in her life.

Then came one of those days when nothing went well for him. Ethan was at his most fractious and self-pitying and Cal had to apologise to Sue for his brother's attitude when she arrived. Stan was five minutes late on to the mini bus, which, added to a traffic jam, took fifteen minutes from the gym time – because of the low cost they had to be out of the building by a certain time. Denise grizzled about it to the point where he wanted to strangle her with the shoelaces on her trainers.

And, as he was ready to leave that day, he noticed a pretty blonde entering the gym. She walked over to Sophia, kissed her cheek and pulled her into a bear hug. Cal jumped to his own conclusions and decided the woman must be Sophia's partner. He should have known a woman he really liked would be off limits to him.

For Ben, there was a margin of improvement. He and Sara attended a party where dancing was part of the agenda. His dancing master would have been proud of him as he moved effortlessly round the floor.

"You have never enjoyed dancing before" Sara commented, seeing him smiling.

Whoops, he thought, am I going to have to go to Sergeant Karl's office and have my arse spanked tomorrow?

"I was determined to master this, and I am quite proud if what I achieved" he told her, which after all was the truth.

The look she gave him was searching, then she was on her guard again. But there was no denying that the look had been there.

The bombshell came one night when they were going through the same unhappy pantomime – Sara lying there, almost afraid to move, Ben turning his face to the pillow and swearing softly with a frustration that was more emotional than physical. Sara drifted into her usual unhappy, fitful sleep. Suddenly she began to plead with an invisible assailant:

"Please don't hurt me… nooooo…" her voice tailing off with a moan of pain.

Compassion made Ben drop his guard completely. He put his arms round her, shook her awake and in his own English accent, murmured:

"I've got you, sweetheart, you're safe now; just a dream."

She awoke with a start and stared at him in shock.

"You are not Stefan" she said clearly.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Warning: Mentions of implied rape and violence.

Ben felt a little queasy with anxiety. She hated him so much, surely her next move would be to tell Karl or David about this incident. And what would their reaction be? David would probably send him home on the private plane with a string of dire threats; Karl… who knew what Karl would do?

Then he realised her expression was one of pure relief.

"No" he said evenly, "I'm not Stefan. My name is Benjamin Chiltern, and…"

He told her everything, including Stefan's illness. She did not gloat, but rather just nodded calmly.

Then, before she could restrain herself, tears came into her eyes.

"Then I can be beside you without fear, Benjamin."

He suddenly understood.

"Oh my God… he was cruel to you, wasn't he?"

He held her hands as Sara told him about Stefan's treatment of her.

"Stefan could be so charming in public, but devious and cruel when we were alone together even when we were children. Ever since I can remember, he would nip or punch me. He would say to me: "Come here, I won't hurt you" and then he'd punch me – never my face, where it would show, or pull my hair until I had tears in my eyes."

"I'm so sorry…"

"He would tell me that if I ever let my family, or the servants, know what he'd done, the punishments would be worse. You can imagine my horror when my parents told me we were to be betrothed. I found out that he preferred to sleep with men rather than women, and I swear I never condemned him for that; it was just his cruelty that I loathed and feared. It wasn't just violence. He ripped my favourite books apart, and I had to pretend that I had lost them. I had a little canary that I loved; it amused him to wring its neck one day. I had to tell my parents the cat had eaten it. Because the cat and bird had been kept apart, they knew I was lying and they thought I'd been careless and let it fly free. All the time I could hear his voice in my ears, saying "Tell anybody and there will be twice the pain, twice the destruction, next time. And so the time came for him to go to study in America. I hoped he would never return, but he was back safe and sound in time for our betrothal party. He found a private room and 'punished' me. At the party I had to dance with a back covered in bruises… there are several occasions for a man to hold a lady's back during our dances. Then he made me a promise, Benjamin. He said "You won't know what real pain is until we're married, Sara."

She broke off, shaking, as she looked at Ben.

"You're crying… for me?"

He held out his arms to her and she buried her head in his chest as they both wept for her suffering. Then he led her over to the washbasin and washed her face, his movements deft and gentle. Then he led her back to the bed, laughing shakily.

"All my training at Prince School went down the pan there, didn't it, sweetheart?"

She smiled at him and there was a warmth in her face he'd not seen before.

"It was compassion that caught you off guard, Benjamin who is not Stefan. That's how I came to realise you were not my hated fiancé. But I, unfortunately, know exactly how Stefan behaves in public and I shall teach you how to be him. But when we are alone together you shall be Benjamin."

"Ben. Please call me Ben."

"Ah, I like this, Ben."

One thing still tormented him.

"You must hate to look at me" he sighed.

"But no, Ben. Stefan was always handsome – just rotten to the core inside. But with you I have the handsome and kind man Stefan could have been. I think I shall be very happy now, Ben."

He suddenly took her hands and held them to his chest.

"I swear that I will never do a thing to make you feel pain or fear as long as I am with you" he told her.

She smiled.

"Poor Ben, you were so kind to me and I have been so cold to you. And I believe you care for me."

"Yes, I do" he replied simply.

"I cannot pretend I am in love with you, Ben. But I like you very much."

"And now you really can sleep without fear", he told her.

He lay beside her once more and was convinced that she felt confident beside him when she almost shyly laid her head on his chest. He held her until he knew she was sleeping, stroking her face or hair until he too drifted off.

In the morning he was rewarded as she stroked his face and whispered:

"Good morning, Ben who is not Stefan. Prince School is beginning!"

His immediate future looked almost perfect.

For Ethan, there were highs and lows. He had been warned by the doctors that it could take months after an operation like his to locate any problems. Ethan worried constantly that there was an ugly surprise waiting round the corner, and being Ethan, took his worries out on Cal although he tried to be on his best behaviour when it was Sue's day to look after him, as it was on this particular day.

"Supposing they find something though, Cal? I don't want to find I've got to go through all this again."

"Why would you think you have to? Those were standard warnings that the doctor gave you. It doesn't mean they'll happen.

"Oh just bugger off to your gym."

The phone rang. Cal sighed and answered it.

"Oh… that's a shame, Sue, but it can't be helped. Hopefully we'll see you next time. No, please don't worry. Bye for now, and get well soon."

Ethan had been totally indifferent to whether Sue visited or not that day, but now his lower lip was out.

"I wanted to see Sue."

"Yeah, well, I needed to see her coming to look after you. I was due to go and help with the mini bus. I hate letting them down but I can't leave you."

"Why not? I can get to the toilet, it just takes me longer. I can phone for a take-away for lunch."

"Oh no you can't. You had one yesterday. You need healthy food, little brother. Now stop worrying. I'll phone the Health Advisor…"

"I want to go out" Ethan wheedled.

"Okay, okay, but I have to phone first. It's getting late."

"I want to go to the gym. I want to spy on you at work; it'll cheer me up."

Cal sighed.

"Not possible."

"Possible" argued Ethan, "Go on, Cal, you've got me to the car before. You've said there's room on the mini bus and there are people who go who are less mobile than I am."

His bad mood forgotten, Ethan fluttered his eyelashes.

"Go on, Cal, take me out."

Cal was used to these mood swings and actually thought this was quite a positive plan.

"Come on then, go and get your teeth brushed; I have to be out in ten minutes if you're coming because you'll need to be made comfortable."

Ethan grinned to himself. Since his movements had been restricted, days out, when he was having a relatively pain-free day, were a treat.

Cal helped Ethan from the car and into the small office.

"Hi Mark; I hope this is okay – Ethan's carer couldn't come today. Could he come along just to watch?"

"No problem. We can make you comfortable on the bus and at the gym, Ethan, and the session will only be for around an hour so you'll not be around for too long."

"Okay" Ethan smiled, on his best behaviour because of the unexpected day out.

"Ooh, who's this? New member?" Denise's eyes were gleeful.

"My brother. He has a back injury so please don't anybody jolt him."

"Ooh as if! What's his name?" Denise asked Cal.

Ethan's face clouded a little.

"My name's Ethan; I can talk for myself."

"Good to meet you, Ethan" Stan answered quickly before Denise could yell anything else that might upset the newcomer.

Cal settled Ethan into his seat, made sure the belt was fastened as loosely as the law would allow, and grinned round.

"Off we go, then, people!"

"I'll help him down!" Denise butted in when they reached the carpark.

"Sorry Denise, I have to do it. A wrong move could harm him" Cal forestalled her.

"If you sit here, Ethan, you'll be able to watch everybody."

Sophia didn't even need to ask Cal how to make Ethan comfortable; she seated him naturally.

"Our Megan must have found out you were coming, Ethan, she's like a homing pigeon where new men are concerned."

"Your Megan?" Cal asked, hoping he wasn't sounding too eager.

"My sister. You met her last week."

Sister eh? Cal's day was getting better by the minute.


	8. Chapter 8

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER EIGHT

A/N: Warning: Mentions of implied rape.

Ben asked David whether or not there would be a honeymoon for himself and Sara. David explained that this could not happen because of the chance that a country with more advanced media than Corvaine would take photographs or ask for interviews, which could sabotage the work Karl and David had done to keep Stefan's illness, and Ben's deception, a secret.

"And how does the Princess feel about not having a honeymoon?" Ben asked.

David smiled sadly.

"The Princess does as she's told."

On a happier note, Sara was a joy to be with now her fears were over. She did him a huge favour later that day; a servant brought a telephone over to him and said:

"Highness, your father."

"Thank you" Ben replied coldly, "You may go."

Sara caught Ben's look of surprise and saw that he was about to blurt out "Dad?" when he saw Sara discreetly mouthing "The King" to him.

Stefan's parents were abroad and were likely to remain so for the foreseeable future, leaving Stefan to fulfil social functions while Karl and David ran the country.

"Father." Ben kept his voice cold and clipped.

"Stefan. You are both well?"

"Yes thank you. And you, Sir?"

"We are in good health. Has the Princess begun to fulfil her duties yet?"

Ben was about to ask what duties, then he realised what his father meant.

"She is not yet with child."

"She must conceive. If she shows reluctance, tell her you will take her whether she consents or not."

Ben understood where Stefan's cold heart came from.

The ice in his voice was genuine now.

"I understand. Goodbye, Father."

"Conduct yourself well, Stefan. Goodbye."

Ben's heart ached for two reasons. He suddenly felt an urge to go home and hug his real family. But the biggest heartache was for Sara and all women in her position.

I'll never take you against your will" he vowed.

Ethan was proud of himself.

"I went to a gym and did a workout!" he crowed.

"I know; I'm proud of you, little brother."

At the gym Sophia had noticed the longing in Ethan's eyes as he watched the others working out. She had a quiet word with Mark, who asked Ethan if he'd be willing to follow a safe exercise programme during his visits.

Ethan had started to say "Oh, today's a one-off" but suddenly realised he'd like to give it a try.

The day would have been great if he'd not been plagued by Denise, who had spent more of her energy staring at him than on doing her own workout.

"You're supposed to use bigger weights! That's girls' weights you're holding."

"Denise" Sophia told her sharply, "Ethan has a severe back injury. He has to use smaller weights. And there's no such thing as girl's weights or boy's weights – just the right weight for each person. Now you behave yourself or we'll have to ban you from coming, and you'll not like that, will you?"

Denise wouldn't. She wanted a good view of these handsome young brothers when they came for a workout and wasn't going to jeopardise her chances of seeing them around. She muttered an apology and carried on with her own programme.

"Thanks for stepping in" Cal told her when they were due to leave, "I think Denise just got a little carried away there, but I'm happy with what Ethan managed to do today and didn't want it sabotaging."

"She's a monkey; we have to watch her all the time. Jeannie's scared of her, you know."

"I'll make sure they're kept apart on my – sorry, on the minibus" Cal reassured her.

He'd been going to say "On my minibus" as if he owned the sessions! Idiot, he told himself.

"It was great. Cal, I never thought I'd be able to do stuff like that again." Ethan was more contented than Cal had seen him for weeks.

"You can go again next week; Sophia's going to go through a complete programme with you."

"Can't I go another day as well?"

"Better take it slowly, Ethan. We don't want you going at things too hard and ending up hurt, do we?"

"I suppose not."

Ethan walked across the kitchen, to the fridge, to pick out what he fancied for lunch.

"Ethan!"

"It's been ages since breakfast; don't begrudge me my biggest comfort!"

"It's not that" Cal replied, his tone joyful, "You walked straight across that floor without holding the wall!"

"Hey, I did!" Ethan beamed like a small boy who had just got all his sums right. Then he grinned:

"I must have burned off some calories today."

"Oh no, Mr Sly. You're sticking to your Healthy Eating plan. I don't want you bothering me in the early hours with the wails of the severely constipated!"

"Eeeew!"

Cal was still not feeling comfortable about Denise's interference. What if he wasn't there to watch her one day and she forced Ethan into doing an exercise that undid all the healing and therapy of the last few months. Ethan could speak up for himself before his accident but now… Cal wasn't so sure.

The incident he dreaded occurred two weeks later but it wasn't with Ethan.

Denise was bored because both Cal and Sophia were occupied with watching Ethan. She spied Jeannie climbing off the exercise bike.

"Everybody else goes on the treadmill after the bike; why don't you?"

Jeannie looked wearily at her tormentor.

"I'm scared of it… it makes me uneasy because it moves underneath."

Jeannie just wanted to finish the exercise programme she normally loved and get out of the way of this nuisance.

"The bike moves underneath you" she sneered, "And you don't mind that."

"I'm sitting down for the bike. Can you let me get on, Denise?"

"Oh, stop being a baby!" Denise linked her arm in Jeannie's and dragged her towards the treadmill.

"No!"

Denise was all but pushing Jeannie, whose face was almost grey with fear, on to the treadmill. Jeannie clung to it nervously.

Then the voice rang out.

"DENISE!"

"Eh?" Denise turned to face Ethan, who was glaring at her.

"If Jeannie goes on that treadmill, being as she's afraid of it, she could fall. If she falls and hurts herself-"

"She'll not; it's all in her head!"

"Be quiet, please" Ethan spoke as if he had a problem patient. Cal stood by in case he was needed, but Ethan continued:

"IF she falls and hurts herself, Denise, she could sue you. It could cost up to three hundred thousand pounds. Do you have three hundred thousand pounds, Denise?"

"N-no!"

"Then don't let me see you scaring Jeannie again, or I'll call the police on you. Understand?"

Cal felt huge admiration for Ethan flooding through him. Sophia was making a discreet thumbs-up sign to Ethan, who had walked slowly but surely over to Jeannie.

"Okay there, Jeannie? You remember you've only got to do the exercises that Sophia says to and don't try anything else."

Jeannie nodded gratefully.

After the session Cal showered, then helped his brother to the small snack and hot drink area that they had to pass to catch the mini bus. Cal's heart sank when he heard Denise saying loudly:

"That Ethan Hardy!"

Then he heard the rest of the sentence and the tone of voice:

"He's well masterful!"

Denise sounded like a lovesick schoolgirl. Cal gave a snort of laughter and turned it into a cough.

Cal pranced round the living room, chanting about Denise:

"She thinks you're gorgeous, she wants to snog you…"

"Urgh! Stop that! I don't make up stuff about Sophia fancying you, do I?"

"She doesn't fancy me, moron!"

"Cal, I don't know where you're looking when you're in that gym but you're sure as hell not looking very closely at Sophia!"

Over in Corvaine, although his life with Sara was much easier, Ben still felt a mix of anger and sympathy on her behalf. If only he could have taken her on honeymoon and given her all the things she loved. A bookshop so she could browse for favourites and discover new authors. The opera, the ballet. Even a theme park where she could relax and relive her childhood.

A small opportunity for this came the following week.

Sara waved an embossed envelope at him.

"You have to open this, Ben, but look, it's from the Opera House here!"

He passed the envelope to her.

"You open it, darling. I think it's something you'll like."

She beamed like a child and opened the envelope.

"Oh, Ben, The Nutcracker is at the Opera House and we have been invited. Please may we go?"

"No" Ben teased, then explained himself:

"I want you to start telling me what you want to go to, not asking my permission, sweetheart. We'll be going to this, I promise."

He kissed her forehead.

When they returned from the ballet, Sara's mood was almost ecstatic. She had smiled like a little girl through all the sentimental, pretty nonsense.

In the bedroom, away from prying eyes, Sara danced across an imaginary stage. Ben couldn't restrain himself, he caught hold of her in his arms, and kissed her. His lips were tender and gentle at first, with little butterfly kisses, then they became more passionate. And she responded.

Lying there in each other's arms, eyes heavy with contentment and wonder, they dreamed of the future they'd have together, at least for a while. Sara felt nothing but a trusting, contented love for Ben, who was feeling a quiet joy. They dreamed only of being together, little realising how fate could step in and break both their hearts, so easily. But for that night, only Ben and Sara mattered in their private universe.


	9. Chapter 9

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER NINE

Cal was also a lot happier lately, and was delighted that Ethan loved his weekly gym session. He felt sorry that this would mean they were unlikely to see Sue again, but she was just happy about Ethan's improvement. Mark and Sophia had encouraged Ethan to accompany Cal to work and complete his exercise programme in the gym and to celebrate Ethan's progress Cal decided there would be no harm in treating his younger brother to a meal out one evening.

He mentioned it as they were standing chatting to Sophia together after their workouts.

"I think we can relax your eating programme for a night, Menace. How do you fancy a meal at The Thai Palace on Wednesday?"

"You lucky man; I love that place" Sophia said, not meaning to hint at anything. Ethan's grin was so Cheshire cat-like that Cal felt like smacking him.

"You should come along" Ethan beamed.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to push in." Sophia was embarrassed.

"Cal, why not ask Sophia to come with us as a little thank-you for all her help?" Ethan asked. He wanted to snigger at the sudden shyness on Cal's face.

"Er… of course! I'll ask Mark too. He's helped you too, Ethan."

Mark was flattered to be asked, but decided that honesty was the best policy and said that Wednesday was one of the nights he saw his boyfriend. Denise, fortunately, was over at the other end of the gym so she didn't hear this. Not that she would have said anything mean to Mark; she would have gone into a loud, long diatribe about how much she hated 'them rotten homophobics', which would have made Mark feel worse.

"Can we go now?" Ethan wheedled, adding:

"You don't want to be late to pick Sophia up. It's rude."

"Since when has rude ever bothered you, ratbag? But I'm ready now…do you need the loo before we go?"

"I'm not five years old, Caleb."

"I know that, I was just-"

"-Looking out for me. I know."

"Tell you what I can't wait for" Ethan sighed, "When I'm finally mobile and self-sufficient again and there's a chance of me being the one who gets a hot date."

"Ah, little bro, it'll happen again for you. Wait and see."

Ethan felt self-pity engulfing him so he whined like a five-year-old:

"Can we go now?"

Sophia proved to be useful as well as delightful company; she happily advised Ethan what he could eat and still stay healthy.

"And don't forget, you can let yourself off the leash every so often."

"I'm holding back a bit for the pudding" Ethan grinned.

"You need to be careful with pudding, Ethan."

Ethan turned to Sophia.

"See how he nags me?"

Sophia grinned.

"You're right to hold back a bit if you want a dessert, though, Ethan, Thai desserts are out of this world but high in calories."

"Ah, calories, shmalories..." Ethan was in a relaxed mood as he usually was when he'd managed a night out."

Sophia was feeling just a little guilty. Had she sounded too enthusiastic about the dessert? She knew Cal wasn't earning so much and didn't want to use him as a meal ticket.

"Anything wrong?" Cal had caught her expression.

"I didn't mean to push for dessert" she replied a little shyly.

"My dear lady, when Caleb Knight's in the chair, dessert's included!" Cal teased in his best old-fashioned man voice. Sophia laughed and relaxed. How nice of her, thought Cal, some girls I've been on a date with would have been demanding the cheese board and fine liqueurs afterwards.

Ethan offset his promised dessert by having a vegetable green curry rather than one with meat. His reward came when he was served his sticky rice with custard, a popular Thai dessert. Cal and Sophia played it safe with ice cream.

Nobody ordered or even wanted fine liqueurs but the wine certainly made the conversation flow after the meal. Cal learned that Sophia was the youngest of four sisters and had always thought herself to be the plain one of the family.

"No way!" Cal had explained. He looked now at her large eyes and glossy dark hair, her way of sitting straight all the time, her mouth… he'd thought earlier that he'd never seen anybody who ate as politely as Sophia; no shoveling it in for her. Not that she was fussy or played with her food, but she ate with economical little bites.

"We should do this again" Cal said as he helped Sophia and Ethan on with their coats. An older woman stared at them, and then, understanding, said a little too loudly to her friend:

"The young one's disabled."

"Spot-on, Madam" shouted Ethan, "I'll show you the scars on my back for fifty p!"

Cal sighed, but thought this was much better than how Ethan would have behaved a couple of months ago; he would probably have told the woman to f*** off.

"I've a way of going part-way towards returning the favour" Sophia told him as he helped her to the door.

"Oh you really don't need to…" Cal began.

"I'm afraid it's not as exciting as a meal out, but would you and Ethan like free tickets to our show in December? Our gym has an amateur musical society and we're doing a panto at the Civic Hall. It's the old fashioned kind where girls play the principal boy; I'm Prince Charming."

"It sounds great."

"I'm sure the management would make sure your seat was comfortable, Ethan. What do you think?"

Cal suddenly realized how lovely she was, making sure Ethan wasn't left at home while he was out on a date. Unless… his heart suddenly dropped a little and he wondered if it was Ethan she liked most.

Ethan was grinning.

"You'd wear tights, glossy tights?" he asked.

Sophia laughed and nodded.

"And it's Cinderella?"

"Oh yes."

"Can you hook me up with Dandini then?"

"I would, but in this case he'll be played by Mark."

"Rats!" pouted Ethan.

To hide his anxiety about which one of them Sophia actually liked most, he said:

"It's a long time to December though."

"It's in a couple of months, you noggin!"

Ethan's gleeful comment reminded Cal of just how much time had gone by for them.

Ben had been dreaming of how good Christmas in Corvaine with Sara would be, but his hopes were brutally dashed by Karl who told him:

"You will be returning home to the United Kingdom for Christmas, Benjamin."

"So Sara can travel with me?" he began. Karl's sneer soon showed him what a gaffe he'd made.

"You will officially be fulfilling your duties as the Prince of Corvaine although in reality you will be spending time with your family and having your first course of singing lessons with Lascelles. Her Highness will be responsible for the festive celebrations here."

"You split up a recently-married couple at Christmas?" Ben gasped.

"You are still so ignorant of how royalty functions here, Benjamin. Now please accept this and let us take care of the travel arrangements for you. There are several Royal functions in the next few months that you must be back here for, so Christmas is the ideal time for you to be with your relatives and friends."

Ben knew no amount of arguing or pleading would change Karl or, for that matter, David's mind, and he kept his anger inside while submitting himself to the arrangements.

The night before he left for home, Sara wept on his naked chest half the night.

"I'll come back, darling. Now let me love you…"

He kissed away the tears from her face, and their lovemaking that night was the most intense yet.

The next day Ben travelled incognito to Paris by train and from Paris he caught a plane back to England.


	10. Chapter 10

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER TEN

Ethan looked like a small boy on a night out as the curtain rose. Thanks to his brace and a small cushion, he was completely comfortable in his seat, and because Mark had chosen carefully, was able to feel comfortable without blocking anybody's view.

Cal had to discipline himself not to say, or worse, shout "wow!" aloud when Sophia strutted on as the Prince. He gave Ethan a discreet glance and saw how much he was enjoying himself; the Ethan before the accident would have turned up his nose at pantomime. Now there he was, shouting insults to the ugly sisters with the rest of the audience, joining in all the songs and almost cooing every time the small children in the show performed a number. The company, amateur though they were, had managed to acquire a pony to pull Cinderella's coach at the end of the first act. Fortunately for the pony, Sophia's friend Kirsten, who had the title role, was small and slim. Mark, whose voice was probably the best in the company, did justice to a One Direction hit as he flirted with the dancers.

"I think Ben would have loved being in something like this" Cal said in the crowded bar during the interval.

"Oh he would. I still wonder what it was that made him travel abroad for all this time."

"You might find out later this week" Ethan said casually, "I've had a text from him to say he's back over here."

"You could have said." Cal sounded just a little miffed.

"I only just got the message as the lights were going down."

"Fair enough. They all look good, don't they?"

Ethan knew he meant Sophia and he felt a pang. He hoped there'd be a chance to find a girl who would understand that he couldn't take her dancing or any other activity that was too strenuous. Whereas he was grateful for the way his back was healing with, apparently, no complications, he did wonder how on earth he'd get back into the social scene.

"That was a great night out" Cal said as he walked Sophia to her door.

"It was good to see Ethan enjoying himself like that. Cal… don't think I'm being pushy but… have you ever thought about compensation for Ethan? I'm sure he'd have a good case."

"I'll have a word with him about it" Cal said… then abruptly broke off.

"Cal?"

Cal pointed into the sky.

No, he hadn't imagined it. There it was, visible against the dark blue.

"A bat!" Sophia beamed at the unexpected sight.

Cal couldn't resist kissing her, and she happily responded.

Ethan gave them five minutes.

"Hey, Romeo and Juliet, some of us would like help with getting to the toilet. Remember it's cold out here."

They broke apart, laughing.

Cal felt an inner contentment that was suddenly ruined by the thought that Ethan needed somebody in his life, and not just a brother. But what could he do about it? Send him out speed-dating, for goodness sake?

Ben walked into the familiar pub, smiling at the corny Christmas decorations and the excruciating Karaoke. Seeing Dylan, he walked over, hoping to surprise him with a hug. Dylan had noticed him and turned round, his face cold, his words cutting.

"Oh so His Lordship is back from wherever he's been, is he?"

Ben didn't expect many words, but was shocked at the hostility in Dylan's voice.

"For a time…"

"For a time. Of course. You couldn't even be bothered to tell us where you'd been, just a poxy text to me telling me you're back."

"It's boring really…"

"Hmm. If it's so boring, Ben, why can't you tell us about it?"

"It's just something I can't discuss."

"And it's abroad?"

"Yes, but that's as much…"

"Ben, you stupid little sod, it had better not be drugs because they can execute you in some countries for that!"

Ben, torn between taking offense and being amused, settled for amusement.

"I can assure you I wouldn't touch drugs with a bargepole!"

Dylan thawed slightly.

"Look, in time I will be able to tell you what happened. Trust me, please."

Dylan gave him an awkward hug.

"I'll trust you for now, cretin."

Even Max and Robyn had to accept that Ben wasn't giving anything away. Max, like Dylan, wondered if Ben was in some kind of trouble, while Robyn, always the optimist, took a different view.

"I think he's got a big surprise for us. He's been training for something and he's going to surprise us all next year."

One part of her theory was correct.

"Cal, you need to come away from that computer, you've been on it nearly all day. You'll be bog-eyed and have a worse back than I do!"

"I just want to find you a good compensation service, Nibbles. Not one of these that promise you the earth and then have a laundry list of get-out clauses."

"Well, fine, but give yourself a rest, for goodness sake. Look, I'll go and make us a couple of drinks…"

Cal logged out as fast as if he'd been caught by the police trawling pornographic websites.

"Oh no, Ethan. I'm not having you struggling with two hot drinks and falling over and scalding yourself. I'll take a break. But I promise you, I'm going to look for the best I can find."

"How are your savings holding up, Cal?"

Cal sighed. His savings had taken a severe dip recently but he'd tried to keep this from Ethan.

"Bit less in the kitty than last year. But when you get all your lovely compensation you can give me something back."

Ethan's smile was a little twisted. Cal received carer's allowance but this just about paid for their basic needs such as flat rental. If they'd both still been working, the kitty would have been a fat one. He realized that his fun-loving, irresponsible brother had changed so much over the past few months and felt a lump coming into his throat.

"Well don't just stand around. Get into that kitchen and make us drinks and sandwiches. And I don't want one of those skinny little wraps round my cheese, I want Ciabatta."

"Greedy little sod."

Cal hurried into the kitchen, and got busy. It was the only way he could keep the anxiety in his face away from Ethan; he knew how lonely his younger brother must feel sometimes and it hurt him. And, sooner or later, Cal would need to find himself a job. How would that fit in with caring for Ethan?

Ben took the train from Paris on a freezing day in early January. Much as he loved Sara and wanted to be with her, he would miss the banter with Robyn and Max, and Dylan's snarky comments for a while. He'd even had to invent a story for the New Year's celebrations, as to why he'd stopped drinking anything alcoholic. It would have been disastrous if he'd got off his face and blurted out all the details about his 'gap' year.

It was all worth it when he parroted Stefan's arrogant stride and walked into the bedroom, telling the servants he wanted to be alone with his wife. Sara ran over to him, wrapped her arms round him and covered his face with kisses.

He was about to respond when she guided his hand to her round little belly. He understood, and tears of joy came into his eyes.

"Our baby" he whispered.

She smiled, then looked like a lost child.

"And this is the countdown, my Ben, to our being separated for ever. Once I have the baby and it is a son, they can announce Stefan's death and you will leave me."

"At least another year for us" he reassured her, kissing and stroking her to calm her, "And I'll take such care of you all the time."

She tried to smile but the thought of his leaving her for good still hurt too much.

"It's a long time till next year" Ben told her, and carried her to the bed.

"Let's pray for a little daughter", he whispered.


	11. Chapter 11

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER ELEVEN

Maybe it was the intimacy of the previous night that made Ben careless in the morning. He couldn't resist turning to Sara and kissing her hand as he entered the room to join her for their next function; a visit to the Corvaine Academy. Karl's glare was not just irritated but positively malevolent. Karl and David took the opportunity to draw Ben aside as he and Sara waited for the Royal car to collect them.

"Prince Stefan would never have shown such a public display of sentimentality" he snapped, adding:

"The Princess must have been surprised. Kindly do not forget yourself again, Benjamin. I suggest you find some way of explaining your stupid lapse to her."

Ben's temper, usually placid, flared.

"And I suggest that you should have chosen somebody for this – this assignment who had no heart!"

He bowed exaggeratedly, turned on his heel and went to stand beside Sara. He wondered if there would be repercussions because of his words, but Karl did not mention the incident again.

David, however, had a quiet word with him.

"You need to be more careful, my friend. I know you've begun to care for her, but it will hurt less when you finally have to part unless you can-"

"-Can what? Control feelings? Just switch them off?"

David didn't reprimand Ben, but said evenly:

"At least try to keep within character in public, Ben. You're doing so well, Karl may not say so, but I am proud of you."

"Thank you. And I will keep my wits about me a little more."

David patted Ben's shoulder. He knew how painful it would be for Ben when he took his last and final trip home.

Ethan confronted Cal, hands on hips which put Cal in mind of Dylan Keogh.

"You've done it again haven't you?"

"What, Nibbles?"

"Hidden stuff from me."

He waved the travel brochure in Cal's face.

It stated "Romantic Valentine Getaways, weekends or longer. Page 24."

"Unless you're a very warped guy, Cal, I don't think it's me you were planning to take away for the weekend. So is this another scheme you were going to abandon?"

"Ethan, I can't abandon you for a weekend. You're doing great but I still don't feel I can leave you alone for so long."

"I won't be alone all the time. You can ring Sue. It's work for her."

Cal turned his back on him and began to read the new crime thriller he'd treated himself to. Ethan, however, was not to be swayed and sang "Runaround Sue" in a squeaky voice until Cal reluctantly made the call, which he made from the privacy of the kitchen.

He came out looking unhappy.

"No luck? Sorry, Cal."

"Oh she's happy to come. I'm just still not sure…" Cal sighed, adding:

"Maybe Sophia won't be free for that weekend anyway."

"You phone her and ask her now. I have a whole catalogue of early sixties songs that I can sing to you till you change your mind."

Cal practically ran into the kitchen with his phone.

"Paris!"

Cal was left in no doubt how Sophia felt about the break. Her eyes were shining. Then she said:

"And Ethan's really up for it?"

"He's been torturing me with sixties songs until I gave in and phoned you. Believe me, once you've heard my little brother singing "Johnny Remember Me" you've not known what fear is."

"Cal?"

"Yes?" he was anxious that she was about to change her mind.

"I'll gladly pay my own way for this bit because it's expensive, but please could we go to the Moulin Rouge?"

"On the agenda, and you, Madam, are to keep your money for shopping."

He could always bite a little bit more into the overdraft. Sophia, however, was no Taylor.

"Cal, I think you're brilliant, you know that. But I'd not enjoy this break if I didn't contribute. Cal, I don't need fancy holidays to make me happy, although I'll draw the line at this one, because it sounds wonderful. But… if you ever feel like just spending an evening in front of the TV or taking a walk, I'd consider that having a good time, too."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She was something else, this lady.

Sue arrived well before the taxi to take Cal and Sophia to the station for their Eurostar connection was due to come, which made them both feel easier about leaving Ethan.

"That guy who's taking over from me for a week knows what he's doing" Sophia reassured Ethan, "He knows not to force you into doing anything you can't manage."

"Stop fretting and enjoy your holiday. Bring me back something nice to eat."

Ethan sounded more confident than he felt, if truth be known. He wanted Cal and Sophia to have this break, they both deserved it. Inside, however, he felt a little scared. Sue he felt safe with, but wondered about the new gym instructor.

Pete, the temporary mini bus driver, increased Ethan's confidence; he helped him up the steps carefully and made sure he was seated comfortably before driving away. Sue had promised she'd be there when the bus got back again, and all seemed well, apart from two rather inappropriate comments from Denise about what she expected Cal and Sophia to be getting up to in Paris. Ethan dismissed these with a small grin rather than becoming rattled, but he wasn't impressed.

On the other hand, he was more than impressed with Denise when they walked into the reception area, and Glen, the temporary instructor, introduced himself.

"Ethan hasn't got to do anything that might hurt his back" she announced somewhat pompously.

"Don't worry, sweet pea, I know what I'm doing" Glen told her.

"You don't use this machine, then?" Glen said, sounding surprised.

"Sophia thought it was better to be careful, but she says I can try it for a short time when my back's healed altogether."

"Hmm, I think she's wrong there. I reckon this could do you good, Ethan."

Ethan smiled but the smile was a little steely.

"I'd rather wait till she tells me it's okay."

"Come on Ethan, I hope you're not the sort of member who gets babyish and kicks off if they can't have their favourite instructor!"

Glen was becoming annoyed; he'd been told that if he did well in his temporary week there was a chance of promotion. Now this little weakling was sabotaging his efforts.

"Not at all" Ethan replied, still staying polite, "Just being cautious."

"Look, I'll seat you properly, and then you can do just two repetitions for me to see if you like it, I can't say fairer than that, can I? Come on, people are queueing here."

Glen didn't say 'it's not all about you' but his tone implied it.

Sighing, Ethan let Glen seat him.

"He's not supposed to-"

Glen turned round sharply.

"Stop pushing for attention, please, Denise. Don't you have your own programme to work through?"

Denise, feeling crushed, got on with her regime.

"Now, how does this weight feel?"

"Okay."

"Hmm… maybe just increase it a little, then. There we go."

Ethan tried the exercise and gave a sharp gasp.

"I'd like to leave this one out, please."

"Oh, for… all right, then. We'll stick to what you know. Get yourself out of there."

As Ethan moved from the machine, he felt a twinge in his back which made him bend double.

He tried to straighten himself but just gave a cry of pain, then the colour drained from his face and he clenched his teeth.

"I told you!" Denise said ominously.

While Cal and Sophia were dining on their luxury barge as it travelled down the Seine, Ethan was being rushed to Holby General's Accident and Emergency department.


	12. Chapter 12

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER TWELVE

Cal's face was pale as he sat with Sophia in the waiting room of the A & E. Max, noticing who was there, was about to hurry over to Cal to chat, but the expression on Cal's face made him retreat again.

"It's my fault" Sophia said wearily.

"No; please don't start playing the blame game, it won't help. Ethan pushed us both to go, Sophie, he was happy enough for us to have that break. It was that little jobsworth in the gym-"

"-Who wouldn't have been there if I'd not gone on a break with you."

Cal shrugged, too fraught to try and make Sophia feel better.

They'd returned from France in such high spirits, and a bag full of gifts including some designer chocolates that Ethan would have been able to fit into his healthy regime as long as he rationed them out. The bag full of gifts lay ignored on the floor.

Suddenly, Dylan hurried towards them.

"Hey, they've only just come in and I've been waiting-" a man began to grumble.

"Take it up with your local MP. Colin, Evan's sustained a minor injury to his back, but the damage is more likely to be psychological than physical. He's had some rest and you can go through to see him now. Ward nine."

Dylan eyed the angry patients malevolently:

"Right, which one of you whingers is next in my queue?"

The question was not quite under his breath.

More relieved than they could say, Cal and Sophia hurried towards the ward indicated by Dylan. Ethan was lying facing the wall and didn't seem to be wired up to any equipment, for which Cal was thankful, but somebody had put a brace back on him.

"Hi, little bro, we're home. Got you some chocs to enjoy."

Ethan looked at them balefully.

"Your bloody girlfriend told me that Glenn was trustworthy."

Sophia, a little hurt at not being addressed directly, replied as evenly as she could:

"I know, Ethan, and I'm so sorry."

"I'm glad you're sorry, Sophia, because thanks to your error, I shan't be going anywhere near that bloody gym again. I'll stay at home and rot… at least I'll be safe there."

Cal stroked Sophia's hand, but it was a reflex action made almost absently as he looked anxiously at Ethan.

"Ethan, please, we're gutted about your back but don't give up…"

"I have given up. Why don't you two give up as well and bugger off home?

The nurse, one Cal didn't recognize, looked sympathetically at Sophia and himself as they just nodded at Ethan and left the hospital.

"I'm so sorry, Mark. I really did think Glen was trustworthy; he did a great interview."

"That's the trouble with people like Glen, Sophia. As desperate to please as a puppy at the interview, then when they get the job they turn into Godzilla. We won't be using his services again."

"And what about me?"

"What about you? You're at work, aren't you? Now get yourself into that gym, do your job and stop carrying the woes of the world on your shoulders, sweetie. A small error of judgement, that's all it was."

Sophia felt a little better after that, especially as Denise cheered in her usual strident matter:

"The nice one's back again!"

Now if only Ethan could forgive her as well.

Ben was missing Sara; once again he'd been packed off upon boring diplomatic missions by Karl and David. It wouldn't have been so bad if there'd been something worth visiting, like schools, where he could speak to the children, or theatrical performances, but everything had been to do with business. Today, however, there'd been a little respite. He'd had his second lesson with Nicky Lascelles, and Lascelles was encouraging.

"You have a good natural voice, Benjamin, and I don't need to ask about your acting; you're acting twenty-four/seven over in Corvaine, of course."

The first time he'd met Lascelles, the music tutor had confirmed that he knew this was not Prince Stefan quietly and casually. It was a small relief to know that somebody else was 'in on the deception.'

"I'm giving you this to read; it's the script of a new musical that starts next year in the West End; you will have a strong chance of doing well should you decide to audition."

Ben felt his heart wrench; next year was when he would have to say goodbye to not only his wife, but his as yet unborn child. Lascelles caught the look.

"Come on, you haven't earned that role yet. We have scales to practise."

"Ethan, I need to be ready in an hour for the gym."

Cal was looking anxiously at his brother, who was eating his breakfast slowly and deliberately. Ethan paused to say:

"Get Sue, then. She can sit in with me today."

"You're not coming along to watch? Dylan says you should be better in a couple of months, but you should keep in the loop…"

"And watch your brainless girlfriend giving duff advice to the others? No thank you."

"Ethan, that's grossly unfair-"

"-Yeah, it was grossly unfair that you two buggered off to Paris and now I'm scared to set foot in that bloody gym again, never mind on any of the equipment. Oh, just phone Sue and bugger off out, Cal!"

Cal sighed and went to the phone, but suddenly turned round."

"Okay, I'll phone Sue but if I hear that you've been giving her any crap…"

"I'm not likely to. It's you and Sophia that I bloody hate, not Sue."

"Where's Ethan?" Denise asked as she saw Cal entering the gym.

"Still not very well, Denise."

"Oh. Mark said he wasn't too badly hurt."

"He's scared to come again, Denise. His confidence got knocked for six."

"You know what you should do" Denise said, "You should sue this place. I've read you can get lots of compensation for stuff like that."

"I can hardly sue this gym, Denise. My girlfriend works here, remember?"

"Well can't you get her a better job and then sue?"

"I think in this day and age she'd prefer to find a job herself!" Cal was laughing but was becoming irritated by Denise's persistence.

Besides, he was already beginning on a battle for compensation from the NHS. He'd been advised by a pleasant young woman called Liza, from the legal team he'd been checking on, that Ethan could have a very strong case.

He wondered if it was worth arranging an interview between Ethan and Liza, or another representative, about the compensation. Channel Ethan's rage against the right people, not the wrong ones.

"So I possibly get lots of lovely compensation money if this company wins the case for me? Great, Cal, just tell me one thing. What the hell will a man who's too scared to go out of his own home spend it all on?"

"So that's a no, then?" Cal was cautious.

"Look, I tell you what. Get somebody from the company to come here and see me. If they will, I'll listen. If they insist I see them in their office, they can get stuffed."

"I'll try to get them to come to you, but if not… it's a day out for you, Ethan. I'll be careful with you like I was when you were first hurt."

Ethan stared at Cal for a long beat, and then growled:

"Well I want lunch afterwards. A good one. Somewhere people aren't going to stare at me."

"Okay."

It was a start.

By the next day Cal had arranged an appointment for himself and Ethan at Grover and Kellerman, with their representative Liza Seaton.


	13. Chapter 13

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A/N Major thanks here to Sweeet-as-Honey for all her continued help with the legal and medical details here.

If the reason for Ethan's mood changes hadn't been so distressing Cal would have found them almost amusing. He never knew which Ethan he was likely to find each day – resentful Ethan, philosophical Ethan, or the optimist that was determined to make it through all the setbacks.

On an unseasonably warm April morning, Cal wheeled his brother into the lift at Grover and Kellerman.

"I hope this doesn't take too long" Ethan sulked.

"It's too early for lunch anyway so we've lots of time to spare, and it is for your own good, Ethan."

"You hope."

Cal was tempted to turn the wheelchair back around and take Ethan home so his brother could wallow in his own misery. He just gritted his teeth and knocked at the door.

"Mr Hardy?"

"This is Mr Hardy; I'm his brother Caleb Knight."

"Thank you, Sir, if you'd like to bring Mr Knight this way" the white-haired woman smiled.

"Looks as if they're a set of geriatrics here" Ethan muttered. Luckily for him the woman didn't appear to hear this.

He was pleased, however, to be seated in a comfortable ante-room with free tea, coffee and bottled water, plus luxury biscuits.

He'd expected the magazines put out for the visitors would either be fluffy and trivial like Hello magazine, but he leaned over to pick up something that had caught his eye.

"Empire magazine! Cool!"

Ethan was enjoying a coffee and praline crunch biscuit while he browsed the list of new releases, when the older lady was back.

"Ms Seaton will see you now."

Ethan reluctantly put down the magazine, gulped at the coffee, and, wrapping the half eaten biscuit in a tissue, slipped it into his pocket for later.

Cal wheeled him through to a comfortable office with air conditioning, where a young woman came smiling towards them.

She was petite, and of slim build. Her red-gold hair shone and her face, almost devoid of make-up except for a coral lip gloss, was freckled, open… and very pretty.

"Hi, my name's Liza Seaton, and I'll be handling your compensation case, Mr Hardy."

Ethan wanted to gush about how unlike a solicitor she looked but just settled for a warm smile.

"You have a good case, Mr Hardy."

"Oh, please call me Ethan."

"Okay, Ethan and you must call me Liza. We could do with more dates and times, but I'm sure you could put those together for me by the next time. I don't suppose you kept a diary?"

Ethan shook his head and looked apologetic. Cal, however, smiled.

"I did!"

It was almost as if Ethan had changed into a small, eager puppy. He answered every question as thoroughly as he could, or said with a charm Cal hadn't heard him use since he'd come back from Paris:

"I'm so sorry, I'll need to think about that one later."

One thing that had pleased both Cal and Ethan was that if the case was successful, it wouldn't be the NHS who would need to pay but the NHS Litigation Service. Much as Ethan resented the circumstances surrounding his accident, he didn't want to drain money from a vital service to achieve a good result.

Cal should have realized that Ethan's euphoric mood wasn't likely to make him forget lunch had been promised.

As he was wheeled back out into the sun, he grinned.

"So where are you taking me to feed me?"

"I think there's a food court in the shopping centre. Fast food and a coke, eh?"

"I don't think so! Molyneaux is just round the corner, and they do the best steaks…"

"Okay, a compromise, Mr Piggy. Pizza Express?"

"If we must."

Ethan's case had looked very hopeful, Liza had explained, and she'd be in touch soon after she'd looked through Cal's diary and copied any relevant pages.

Ethan grinned… then his face fell again. Why on earth would a smart young solicitor like Liza fancy him anyway, even if she didn't have a partner?"

"She wasn't wearing a ring" Cal, who missed nothing, grinned at him.

"Whoopee. Cal… I'm only interested in the claim against the hospital and the guy who assaulted me, not in harassing the gym. I can see now that it was that bloody Maverick instructor that got carried away with his own power. If… if I get Sue round one night this week maybe you could take Sophia somewhere nice?"

"If I've any money left after feeding my hog of a brother."

Ethan clutched his heart.

"Oh you're so cruel!"

Ben wanted to run over to Sara and hug her, but obeyed protocol and merely bowed coldly to her.

"It is good to see you are in perfect health, Madam."

He couldn't believe it when he was informed that he would have to address Sara as 'Madam' in public. He wanted to call her 'Darling' or 'Sweetheart' and it hurt to be so formal after yet another absence from her.

He made up for that when they were alone.

"It's Easter week, but I thought you'd like something better than a boring egg."

He made sure she was seated comfortably as he handed her the heavy package, which he'd asked the assistant to decorate with little swirls of ribbon. She opened it as if it were a precious jewel and then almost dropped it.

"Oh, Ben! This is perfect for me. Oh, how kind."

It was a huge book with photographs detailing every ballet that had been produced in the last century. Sara's eyes shone almost greedily.

"Oh, this is the loveliest thing…but how did you persuade Karl and David to let you use funds for this?"

"I didn't; this is a present from Ben Chiltern to the woman he loves, not from Prince Stefan."

"You spent your own money? I'll take care of it always, my love."

"We need to take care of _you_ ; I'll sort out a lectern or something so you don't have to balance it on your lap."

She kissed him and this time his response was almost greedy; only the constant reminder of her pregnancy made him hold back again.

Ironically, just two weeks afterwards, Karl informed Ben as casually as if he were discussing the weather, that Prince Stefan had succumbed to his illness. He had been quietly cremated and laid in an unmarked grave.

Ben wanted to say that he deserved it because of what he'd done to Sara, but realised that he could never reveal that, especially not to cold-hearted Karl, who was now sneering:

"His excesses brought this on. Well, now things can move on once the Princess has given birth. One more visit home for you during the Christmas season, then you will return here to fulfil your final duties. We will announce the Prince's death after you have left here for good, and if you are stupid enough to return it will not only be at your own cost but will expose the Princess to an ugly scandal.

"Don't worry; I know my duty." Ben's tone was clipped.

If only his duty didn't break his heart so much.


	14. Chapter 14

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Thanks for the reviews from everybody.

Rome wasn't built in a day and Ethan's bad moods didn't miraculously evaporate altogether. Over the next few weeks, Cal would never know if he would encounter happy Ethan or cynical, grumbling Ethan when he knocked at his bedroom door to take him down to breakfast. Some days Ethan would be almost euphoric and be singing Grover and Kellerman's praises, others he was growling how "Those legal parasites" would charge a huge fee and find nothing. The first time Sophia, at both Cal and Ethan's invitation, turned up for dinner at their home, he was the perfect host, the next he left all the work to his brother and went to read and sulk in his room.

Cal could never quite believe his luck that Sophia understood Ethan's frame of mind.

"He's got a lot to be angry with me for, Cal; I recommended that idiot Glen."

"But Glen took everybody in, love. And you know how Ethan's moods have been. He'll love you again next time you visit."

"I hope not! He's a sweetie, but it's you I want!"

Out of the blue, Ethan suddenly asked if he could go to the gym with Cal again.

"Not to go on any machines, you understand, just to watch."

"No worries."

Denise was thrilled to see Ethan back again and said with her usual lack of tact:

"Does this mean you're all cured now?"

"Not yet, Denise, although slowly and surely I'm improving. I'm just watching today."

"Well don't you go goggling at those pretty girls' bums or I'm going to be dead jealous."

Because it was 'Serene, friendly Ethan' day he just grinned at her.

After about fifteen minutes of watching, Ethan asked:

"Can I have a session on the reclining bike?"

"Let me ask Mark first; he's the boss."

Sophia was taking no chances.

"Got your brace on, Ethan?" Mark mouthed discreetly.

"You bet!"

"Okay then, but just five minutes and at level one. You keep coming and I'll gladly increase your speed."

Ethan was pedalling and grinning away like a child who had been allowed to go on the theme park ride of his choice.

"She knows what she's talking about, that girl of yours. I'm glad I didn't drive you apart, Cal."

Mark had dropped the lads off at a local pub, known for its generously sized, delicious meals. Cal had booked a taxi for later.

"A little secret, brother mine. You wouldn't have, even if you'd never known we were back together."

"Mr Deceitful. Still, it's better than having you lolloping round the house like a monk."

"Lolloping? I do not lollop."

"You aren't standing where I'm standing sometimes."

Then Ethan's happy mood evaporated.

"Cal, supposing the solicitors don't get us the money? How much is in the kitty right now?"

"Don't worry about that."

"But I do. We're sitting here having a three-course meal…"

"Speak for yourself! Starter and mains is fine for me."

"Cal, this is Sanderson's, famous for their desserts. They do Raspberry Tiramisu, Caleb."

"Good; I hope you enjoy it."

"And you're not even having the cheese board? A sorbet?"

"No dessert, Ethan, I'll just sit back and watch you devouring it."

Ethan grinned wickedly. He'd let Cal drop his defences.

"So, how much is in that kitty? I'm going to create a scene. A scene with _broken glass_ until you tell me."

Cal told him. It wasn't the figure from Ethan's nightmares but it wasn't a dream figure either.

"If it wasn't for me and my stupid back, you'd still be working."

"So would you. You lost out as well."

"I won't ever be going back to medicine" Ethan announced.

The decision stunned Cal for a moment, then it made sense. Ethan had been hurt because of his job.

"No sweat, Ethan."

"But I'm not going to parasite on you any more either. Well, not indefinitely. I'm pretty good at figures, and putting business letters together. I'm going to have a little more time off to heal a bit more, then I'm going to join a temping agency. Even if it's only part-time."

Suddenly Cal didn't care about a scene being made. He grabbed Ethan in a gentle hug, taking care to avoid damage.

"I love you, Hardy."

An old lady, getting the wrong idea, gave them a frosty stare and stage-whispered to her friend:

"They're getting everywhere, Vera. Disgusting."

"You're not coming to our wedding" Ethan told her like a petulant child, "And we've got Boy George coming."

Cal began to snigger; he really couldn't wait to tell Sophie about this.

The next minute, the wine waiter came to their table, smiling, with champagne flutes and bottles.

"To the happy couple!" he beamed, and poured both men a glass of champagne.

"May we have our bill please?" called the old ladies.

Ethan didn't get his Tiramisu because after the main course had been cleared away, the owner of Sanderson's came to his and Cal's table with a special cake. To the brothers' horror, a violin soloist followed him…

"We'll never be able to eat here again" mourned Ethan.

He realized Pete Sanderson was just behind him.

"Oh you will, lads" Pete grinned, "It was worth the cake and champers to see those homophobic old bitches leaving! Besides, and do forgive my big mouth and ears, someone with as much guts as you two deserve a treat. The meal's on the house."

The celebratory mood was brought down just a little when they received the letter from Grover and Kellerman.

Despite the initial news being good, Ethan felt a pang of unease. He was going to be asked to appear in front of a panel who would want to assess him. Could he really face everybody starting at him?

He'd do it for Cal, for all the money he'd lost when he had to quit his job. And a few comfort items wouldn't be bad either. But the biggest carrot that the letter dangled towards him was that the letter had been printed out by Liza, and that in the third paragraph she'd mentioned organizing a session with Ethan to brief him about the procedures.

Whatever else occurred, he'd like that.

For the next three months, things went at a slower pace for Ben and Sara. Ben, however, felt a little queasy at having to impersonate somebody who was actually dead; then he remembered Stefan's cruelty to Sara and managed to ignore the pricking of his conscience. Sara herself comforted him:

"You are a good man, Ben. You have brought me security and comfort, even if it is for so short a time. Always remember that. Now, tell me more about the musical role."

A role you'll never see me playing, Ben thought unhappily. Then he prayed silently:

Please, make it possible. If I get that role, let Sara somehow be there in the theatre with me on the opening night.

Ben had forgotten to be careful what he wished for.


	15. Chapter 15

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER FIFTEEN

After a month during which Ethan heard nothing about the progress concerning his case, and during which he swung from optimism to the darkest degree of pessimism, he received a call from Liza.

"Good news, Ethan. You won't have to go to court with your claim, or appear before a panel."

"But I thought-"

"I think you might have been looking at worst case scenario. Because there were witnesses to the attack that led to your injury, you'll just need to keep corresponding with me either in person or by telephone."

"Well, I'd be happy with meeting in person… um… that is, if I meet you in person it means I get out of the house and that's always good."

"Of course" replied Liza evenly.

Ethan replaced the phone to see Cal sniggering at him.

"'I'd get out of the house and that's always good.' You fancy her, don't you. Ethan?"

"Stop being childish."

"Okay, then, let me tell you my news. I've an interview next week regarding retraining for a doctor's job."

"You don't sound all that happy."

"No" Cal sighed, "Retraining would be great and if I get the chance, I'll grab it. But it would mean I'd have to give in my notice with the gym."

"They'll miss you."

"I'd like to think so."

"Where will that leave you with Sophia?"

"She's my girlfriend, silly bugger. We'd still see each other… I just wouldn't get Bonus Time seeing her in the gym twice a week."

"Cal?"

"What now, pest?"

"Can you afford to retrain?"

Cal took a deep breath.

"I'm selling the car for a start."

"No! We need that car, Caleb!"

Cal would have snapped at Ethan for his selfish response, but knew how Ethan had loved the days out they'd had either alone or with Sophia.

"Look. My priority's to get a decent job again. I'm sorry but it looks as if I've no choice. I'm putting the ad in the paper next week."

"We'd better be going somewhere good this weekend, then" said Hardy the Brat.

Cal, Sophia and Ethan had a day trip to Rhyl that Saturday and maybe because they expected it to be one of their last, enjoyed every minute. Sophia was, as usual, willing to accept that she and Cal wouldn't be able to get 'up close and personal' with Ethan in tow, as she still felt unnecessary guilt about Paris. It was now July and the weather was perfect.

Cal sensed a little pang in his heart as he kissed Sophia goodnight later. It was the usual gym session the next day and he knew he would have to see Mark.

The mini bus made the usual stops, and the passengers were cheerful and chattering freely as it pulled into the car park.

Denise had found a new member of the scheme to work her wiles on; a middle aged man called Phil, whose weight problem was affecting his health. Phil was ashamed of this and determined to alter the situation. Her new found friendship meant that Cal had to walk to the building alone; he could have done with Ethan to chat to but his younger brother was tired out, having tried to do too much in Rhyl. Cal expected a miserable day and evening, until his mobile sounded.

The call was from Ethan, and Cal expected the worst, until he heard his brother's tone of voice.

"Cal, you won't need to sell the car! I've had a letter from Liza – I mean, the solicitor's office – I've been sent a nice fat cheque as an interim payment!"

"Blimey, Liza doesn't mess about! That's brilliant, Ethan! See you tonight."

He'd still have to give in his notice, payment or not, because of the training but now he felt better; he could take Sophia and occasionally Brat Brother out in the car now and then.

July wore lazily into August, at the end of which was Cal's last day at the gym. Ethan was with him, and seemed to be trying to contain his excitement. When it was time for the scheme members to leave and pile back on to the mini bus, Mark held up his hand.

"We've got extra time today, Cal… surprise!"

He opened the door to the dance studio, which was not in use that day. A huge banner saying "Good Luck Cal" hung the length of the back wall, and drinks and nibbles – for once, not Ethan related – set out on a couple of tables.

"Sessions restart at two so our group has to be out by then, but that gives us enough time to have a mini party in your honour. This is from all of us."

Cal gasped, grinned and opened the gift bag. An appointments diary which was obviously leather-backed and a Parker pen.

"Oh wow!"

Everybody had signed the card, and Cal felt a lump in his throat. He made, what to his mind must have been one of the worst speeches ever, which the others all loved.

Another door was opening.

Ben and Sara were equally looking forward to, and dreading, the birth of Sara's child, which was now imminent. It was early October. They both knew that this would mean their permanent separation couldn't be far behind if the baby was a boy, though David had assured Ben that he would play his 'role' as Prince Stefan until just before Easter the next year if that happened.

"You'll have another trip abroad after the Princess has given birth; if all goes well this means you can see your loved ones in the United Kingdom for Christmas while Princess Sara stays and performs social functions with her child" David said, his voice conveying sympathy for Ben. The latter wanted to rail against this brutal regime that would rip him apart from his wife so soon after she'd given birth, but he knew better than to query it. David put his hand on Ben's arm.

"For your own sake, Ben, try not to become too attached to your wife and child. The heartbreak will only be greater in the long run."

Ben knew David meant well but thought that David might as well tell him to try to survive without breathing.

Ben and Sara were enjoying a walk in the grounds one mild day in early October. Although there was the usual bodyguard riding ahead of them, which prevented them from speaking freely to each other, they could still share looks.

Sara suddenly bit her lip and clutched her belly.

Ben almost choked on the word he had to use to the woman he loved, but the bloody deception had to continue at all times:

"Madam?"

Sara's eyes told Ben she understood, but she tried to regain her composure.

"I'm fine, Sir."

A few paces further, though, and it was obvious that the Princess was not fine.

Ben paced the forest in rage. Because Stefan would have just gone for a long ride in the forest to escape the responsibilities of encouraging his wife throughout the birth, Ben had to do the same. Now Melusine, the mare he'd bonded with so well, was tied to a tree, patiently awaiting the moment when her master needed her again, and Ben was working off his angst among the trees.

And finally he was allowed to see his own child.

Sara looked so pale and fragile as she lay in the huge bed, but the way she was snuggling the tiny bundle against her breast.

"You have a son, Prince Stefan" she said calmly.


	16. Chapter 16

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Ben was determined to have time alone with Sara and the baby, and to hell with the consequences later.

"Leave us!" he snapped at the servants.

They bowed and left the room, though he knew they were stationed outside, which is why he did his best to keep his voice down.

"He's gorgeous" he whispered, and sat on the bed, while Sara held the baby out towards him. He put out his finger and the baby gripped with surprising tenacity. It was from the moment that Ben was caught by the heart.

"What do we have to call him?" he whispered with a little ironic grin.

Sara smiled back, understanding.

"He is to be called Alexander Stefan Marcus."

"Alex" Ben whispered, "When we're alone, he's Alex. Is that okay?"

"That is fine, Ben."

He kissed the soft little forehead.

"Love you, Alex."

Then he sighed.

"Shall we let the circus in?"

Sara grinned and nodded.

"You are needed!" snapped Ben, through the door.

He turned as quickly as he could to wink at Sara.

It was only afterwards that the full impact of what Alex's birth meant. His return from his next trip abroad would be the last time he ever saw Sara. But how could he hate his son?

"Bad news, Cal. I know we wanted more time together but I've volunteered for the panto again this year."

"What's this year's?" Cal asked, trying not to feel unhappy at the thought of even less hours with Sophia, "The cut price version of Puss in Boots – 'Puss in Superdrug? Or the one about bent politicians – 'Bribes in the Wood'? Or the oriental version of Peter Pan – 'Peter Wok'?

"Stop that, or I'll tickle you where I know it drives you crazy. We're doing Sleeping Beauty this year. The producer wants me to try for Princess Aurora. If I pass the audition that means we'd need a Principal Boy. One who's taller than I am. Do you sing at all, Cal?"

He grinned at her, then realised she wasn't joking.

"My singing voice is average but, without being a smug bugger, I don't dance too badly."

"Great! Panto can work round things like that. As long as you can keep up a duet with me twice in the show, and can act a little, you're in."

"Well because I'm retraining my hours are regular, but that would only be a problem if rehearsals were in the day. And I would get leave."

"I'll ring Mark and tell him we've got a Prince Edward."

"Not Philip?"

"No, Aurora's the only concession our show's making to Disney."

"Hey" Cal replied pleasantly but seriously, "There's somebody else to consider."

It was a shame, he thought, that Ben wasn't going to be home in time to be considered for the role; it was right up Ben's street. Goodness knew where Ben was at the moment or what he was even up to.

"Know that panto the gym put on last year?"

"Yeah, it was good. THIS is good!"

Ethan was enjoying his cheese soufflé. Cal had deliberately cooked his brother's favourite meal to ease him into a better mood, although Ethan seemed quite cheerful. Maybe because Liza had an update for him and a meeting had been arranged for the next week.

"I've been roped in to play a part."

"You? What is it, back end of the panto horse? You'd be good at that."

"Cheeky sod. As a matter of fact it's Prince Edward himself."

"Snow White" said Ethan in triumph, "The last version of Snow White I saw, the Prince was called Edward."

"Well, as it happens you're wrong, because it's Sleeping Beauty."

"They'll not need to put any ageing make-up on you for the scene that's set a hundred years later" Ethan sniggered, adding: "If there's any more of this left…"

"There is, but it's my half! You've not kicked off; you do know I'll be out a lot at night?"

"More TV choice for me."

"And we'll have to hire Sue to take you to any appointments."

"I like Sue, and she knows that all our trips have to end in the coffee shop."

"Where's my brother and what have you done with him?"

Although Cal knew the answer. Ethan was a positive ray of sunshine lately thanks to Liza.

The unpleasant thought suddenly struck him – what if Liza didn't fancy Ethan? She could even be gay for all they both knew.

Ethan was a demanding little bugger but Cal didn't want to see him with a broken heart.

Liza smiled at Ethan.

"So it's not as slow a process as you expected. Happy?"

Ethan grinned.

"Very, thank you. Seriously, it was all a bit of a nightmare. I never thought I'd leave the house again at one point."

Liza's eyes were sympathetic.

"You've made great progress but we'll not highlight that bit too much, we're wanting compensation here. But you're getting out and about more?"

Her question sounded more curious than businesslike.

"Oh, quite a bit, thanks. In fact, my brother's volunteered himself to be in the panto that our local Health Group puts on every year."

"Brilliant. Will you be going?"

Ethan seized his chance.

"I will, and I'm also trying to sell tickets for the show. It's on the week commencing the 14th of December. I… I don't suppose you'd be interested in coming along with me on the opening night?"

The smile left Liza's face.

She doesn't fancy me. I should have kept my big mouth shut. Why do I have to be such a _gobby_ , thought Ethan.

"Ethan, the job won't allow me to date somebody whose case I'm involved with. 'Conflict of Interests' and all that tripe."

"Sorry, forget I brought it up" he said, hoping he didn't sound as huffy as he thought he might.

"There's only one way round it" Liza continued.

He looked at her.

"You've met Jon, my colleague, the one I'm mentoring. Now if I were to let him take over your case, how would you feel?"

A year ago, Ethan would have accused Liza of abandoning him for something less efficient, and would have been none too polite about it. He said gently:

"But wouldn't that mean you'd lose out on the fee?"

"I've another assignment I've been considering. I could start work on that straight away… and some things are worth more than a fee."

Ethan was stunned.

Finally, fate was working with him. The interim fee he'd received. Now this lovely girl more interested in dating him than making money from his case.

"In that case, it's panto time for us soon."

He just wished that it had been Cal who'd be picking him up after this interview. He wanted to show off a bit about his hot date. Never mind, Sue was a good listener.

"So dear Mr Chiltern can be shipped back home again on December 12th, then he can return in late January for the final time."

Karl's tight smile conveyed the pleasure he found in talking about Ben's imminent departure.

"Not much longer to keep him from hearing anything that's going to cause him stress."

"True."

"It's nothing serious yet, David. A couple of riots, the threat of a general strike in the New Year. It won't touch the Royal Family. Which is as well because Chiltern's stupid enough to start taking the people's side and opening his mouth in an interview."

"Give him a chance, Karl. He's done everything we've asked of him. Just let him enjoy being the adoring husband and father before it's snatched from him for good."


	17. Chapter 17

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Cal found he could easily balance his training and rehearsal time. What was more, he embraced his new interest wholeheartedly, even the parts that didn't involve kissing, cuddling or dancing with Sophia.

He wondered if this was it; the turning point in his and Ethan's lives. Things were going well for both of them; he loved his training as well as his panto rehearsals, which Ethan actually volunteered to come to, and his feedback was positive and not just to needle his older brother.

Ben and Sara lay wrapped in each others' arms, trying to preserve the sweetness of the moment while they could. They would have one more breakfast together, then Ben would reluctantly have to leave for the United Kingdom again. The next time he left Corvaine would be his last.

"I'm going to find you and Alex the loveliest presents" he murmured to his wife.

"Sweetheart, they'll probably confiscate anything you buy for Alex that they don't deem entirely suitable" Sara whispered, stroking Ben's arm by way of apology.

"Dear God, what kind of people-?" Ben broke off, ashamed of himself. Sara needed kindness while he could still show that to her, not him snapping and snarling about rules.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Come here" she whispered, and he buried his head on her breast, while she stroked his hair.

He curbed his outrage and began to make love to her. The time was never long enough, and all too soon he made the weary journey by train and then plane home to the U.K.

There were two consolations when he eventually reached his flat. Two tickets for 'Sleeping Beauty, a romantic and riotous pantomime' which was obviously to be performed by Ethan's gym group, and, more importantly for Ben, a letter and script from Nicky Lascelles. Monsieur Lascelles thought Ben was good enough to have a role in his new West End musical and had sent him the script. Rehearsals would start after Easter the following year. Ben would be able to throw himself into the work to forget the inevitable final separation from Sara. Like a child hugging a comfort blanket Ben kept repeating to himself, 'I have one more visit there yet.'

"Hey, look who's back!"

Robyn Miller had no inhibitions about throwing her arms round Ben and hugging him when he walked into the ED a couple of days later.

"Robyn, you look brilliant. Have you had your hair lightened?"

"Highlights. I thought I'd go glamorous for the panto. I've a spare ticket, by the way."

"So have I" Ben said sadly.

"Oh well I'm sure yours won't be wasted. Ask Dylan."

Ben didn't dare ask that yet. He'd already been greeted by Dylan, who had looked at him quizzically then said as casually as possible:

"Oh you're back, are you? Still tied up with red tape?"

Ben smiled.

"I can tell you one thing I've been up to" he smiled, passing the envelope over that held the script.

Dylan read through it and commented:

"Looks interesting, but why the secrecy about the whole thing?"

"I've still plenty I can't discuss."

Dylan threw the packet down on the table.

"Well bugger you, then" he growled, and went out to sulk, braving the usual smokers.

The week of the pantomime came. Sophia had thought she was nervous until she saw Cal. He was pale and hardly registered anything that was said to him as they waited in the wings.

"Cal, it's a panto. You'll be fine. I was nervous last year but ended up having a ball."

Cal looked at her anxiously.

"Do people still boo and throw rotten fruit?"

"Re. the fruit[AS1] ; not since Health and Safety laws. As for the booing, they'll have me to contend with if they're mean to you."

She wanted to tell him that she'd felt a little off colour earlier that week but decided that would hardly help him.

She heard her entrance music, blew him a kiss and walked on to sing a song about how happy she was feeling, a typical crowd-pleaser.

Cal's entrance happened soon afterwards. He was pretending to be Adam, a would-be employee at the palace, which was a sly way of sounding out his betrothed. Prince Edward was still resentful that he couldn't choose a bride himself and was determined to be awkward about it.

Ben, from his seat next to Robyn in the front row, knew just what Prince Edward was going through. Dylan was sitting next to him. "I've bought the bloody ticket now, too late to cancel" was his excuse for still going to the show when he was so enraged with Ben.

Ethan gave Cal a discreet thumbs-up as his brother strode on and sang one of the hit songs of the year, about finding ways to be happy. Cal had expected his voice to come out as a squeak, but to his surprise he was singing away merrily with the chorus. Liza turned to Ethan and grinned her approval.

When 'Adam' confessed his deception to Aurora, Sophia had a wonderful time being haughty while Cal, now well into his stride, did an almost Shakespearian job of showing contrition. They shared a duet and kiss and walked offstage, arm-in-arm.

Ben turned to Dylan at the end of Act One.

"It's pretty good" he began.

"I need air" Dylan snapped, and went outside only to find twice as many smokers as he'd encountered on his breaks at work.

Robyn squeezed Ben's arm.

"Don't let him get you down."

"I'll try not to; but I'm dreading our Christmas dinner together."

"Oh, Ben, please don't back out! I know Ethan would make sure there wasn't much food went to waste but I've been waiting to catch up with you for so long."

"I'm still coming; I love your cooking and we've a lot to catch up on. And thank you for never pushing me to tell you about what I've been doing."

"As long as it's all legal, that's all that matters" she reassured him, just as the curtain went back up and Dylan hastily retook his seat.

Everybody – well, almost everybody- sat patiently while the last-night speeches were made and everybody was thanked, from the cast to the backstage staff.

"Coming to the pub with us all, Dylan?" Ben tried to offer the olive branch as they filed out.

"Some of us would prefer to drink with people they trust" Dylan snapped and disappeared in the direction of the canal and his boat.

He was annoyed with himself as much as Ben. Why was he being like this? Ben was his best friend, true, but Ben hadn't actually confided in anybody else about his trips abroad.

The day after the pantomime, Sophia felt nauseous. She was sure she was gaining weight, too, and for a gym instructor, that wasn't good. Plus, she just felt out of sorts in general when she should have been happy. Christmas was coming and there was that huge party at Robyn's to look forward too… what on earth was happening to her?

The thought glided into her mind.

"No!" she thought, dismissing it, "I can't be!"

She'd go to the chemist, though, just in case…

"Cal, you did say Sue was coming over tonight to sit with Ethan?"

"Yeah, she's happy enough to come and he's having one of his lazy moods. It's a shame Liza's not free, but I think he's happy enough to chill out with Sue for the evening. He says Sue's the only person who's up to his level at Scrabble."

"That's good; I want you all to myself" she said, trying to keep her voice light.

"Ooh, that I do like."

Ethan looked through the window and started laughing.

"Sue, come and look at Romeo and Juliet here!"

Sue came to look and laughed good-naturedly. Sophia and Cal were walking with arms round each other, looking as if they were ready for Christmas right then and not at the weekend.

Sue let them in, handed them a parcel each to open on Christmas Day, beamed at them as she received her gifts, and eventually walked out to her taxi, humming a Christmas carol to herself.

"Ethan, I think you could let yourself go a little tonight. We want you to have a drink with us."

Cal went to get the Champagne, but only poured out a full glass for himself and Ethan. Sophia's drink was part Champagne, part orange juice. Ethan suddenly guessed why.

"Ethan, guess what? You're going to be an uncle next year! You'll be even better by the time our wedding comes round!"

To Cal's shock, Ethan's face collapsed like an angry child's.

He snapped:

"Sophie's pregnant? Oh, just great, where the hell will that leave me?"

Cal and Sophia were speechless.

* * *

[AS1]


	18. Chapter 18

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Sophia tried to reason with Ethan:

"Ethan, we both care about you. You know we wouldn't push you out when the baby comes."

"You say that now…" Ethan snapped.

"Don't speak to Sophie like that; she's being more than patient with you, you little git!"

"I've had enough of this! I think Sophie should leave" Ethan glared at Sophia, who was slightly offended but understood the unease he was going through.

"Don't tell my fiancée to leave! She'll stay here as long as she wants to. I think you should take your arsey little self to bed."

Ethan didn't even whine for Cal to help him; he steered his wheelchair out of the room and down the corridor.

"I'm so sorry" Cal said to Sophie, hugging her close.

"Don't be. He's confused and upset right now; we need to make allowances."

"Christmas is going to be a bugger though" Cal sighed, "Dylan still not talking to Ben and rejecting every attempt at reconciliation;Ethan thinking the world revolves round him…"

"And us with something very special to look forward to" Sophia soothed Cal, stroking his face.

Soon they were at the stage where, even if Ethan had come back into the room, they couldn't have stopped what they were doing.

"It's supposed to be good for the baby anyway" Sophie murmured into Cal's chest.

"Up on the sofa, my darling, if we both go to sleep you need to be as comfortable as possible."

He steered her gently so she was sitting on the sofa.

"Can I speak to Ethan please?"

Cal was tempted to say "Are you sure you really want to?" but restrained himself.

"Ethan! Phone!"

Ethan deliberately took his time, and then was sorry as soon as he took the call.

"Hi, Jon! Sorry I took my time…" Ethan listened for a while and then said:

"Really? Well, that's – that's wonderful. I'm stunned. Thank you! Yeah, just in time for Christmas, too. Coming in the post? I'll keep a look out."

Cal pretended he couldn't care less though he was really wanting to hear what had put his grumpy brother in such a good mood.

"Well, aren't you going to ask?"

Cal glared at Ethan.

"I thought you'd disowned me for getting my girlfriend pregnant and wrecking _your_ life in the process."

"I ought to let you know this. The full compensation cheque's coming before Christmas."

"Brilliant. You can start to think about moving out."

Ethan looked thunderstruck.

"You don't mean that?"

"You really hurt Sophie, even if she never said anything about it. I'm pretty much in tune with her thoughts by now."

Ethan said in a small voice:

"I was out of order. I know Liza was a little shocked when I spoke to her on the phone; she said with some sensible planning, it would all work out."

Cal remained silent.

"And I really want to be an uncle."

Stony silence.

"I'll open an account for the baby."

That loosened Cal's tongue.

"You'll do no such thing! Sophie and I can manage, which is what we were trying to TELL you, stupid!"

Ethan asked almost humbly:

"Can you ask Sophie round for dinner tonight so I can apologise to her?"

"I can ask. But she's very upset with you."

"Please?"

"YOU can invite her round."

Cal passed the phone over to Ethan, who looked terrified.

"Hello?"

Ethan prepared for a tongue-lashing.

"Ethan, great to hear from you! How are you?"

"Ashamed."

"Ah, no need. I know you must have been worried but things will work out."

"They will now; my cheque's due."

"Even better news."

"Th-thank you. I want to invite you and Cal out to dinner tonight."

"We're not going to that place where you got a free feed for pretending to be gay, are we?"

They settled on an Indian restaurant that all three of them liked. Sophie reluctantly went without her favourite Korma dish and chose a cheese omelette instead.

"I'm glad men can't get pregnant" Ethan grinned, looking at the size of Sophie's omelette and comparing it to his and Cal's plates that were piled high.

"I'll make up for it with a dessert. I'm really happy that you two have settled your differences, not only for myself but because it'll be a nicer atmosphere at Robyn's on Christmas Night."

"Depends on Dylan, doesn't it?"

Robyn passed the star to Ben, who was perched on a small set of steps near her Christmas tree. It would be ironic, he thought, if he were to fall off and hurt himself and not be able to return to Corvaine immediately. God knew, that was the last thing he wanted. He was already missing Sara with the old, familiar ache. For that reason he was extremely careful as he placed the star at the top of the tree.

"Hey, well done" Robyn beamed when he descended, "At one time we could have taken bets about your falling off. Don't take this the wrong way, Ben, but you seem to be more – um – agile since you were away. I suppose that would be the lessons."

"Lessons?" he asked, uneasily.

"With Nicky Lascalles. Ben, are you okay? You seem a bit distant. Look, don't let Dylan get to you, he's only happy when he's sulking about something. You wait, once he gets Dervla over here tomorrow night, and he's gone all misty-eyed about her gobbling up her Christmas dinner, he'll thaw out."

Ben smiled, but doubted that anything would bring his friendship with Dylan back to where it used to be.

"Right, who's sitting where? And before anybody starts, we don't need to have a man at the head of the table in this day and age, do we, Sophie?"

Robyn, playing hostess the following evening, was in her element.

"In that case, Robyn, it should be you. You cooked all this lovely food." Ben smiled at his friend.

"Shame Connie isn't here to sit at the head."

Robyn pulled a face at Zoe.

"No Connie talk on Christmas Day, please!"

Later, Ben would remember the atmosphere when the evening first started and how good it had been to relax and laugh with friends.

"Dylan, how about Ben sitting next to you?"

Dylan glared at Robyn.

"Ben can sit where the hell he likes."

"Okay" Ben said easily, sitting between Dylan and Robyn. Dervla, knowing Ben was a soft touch where scrounging was concerned, stationed herself at his feet.

Ben tried to behave civilly although some of Dylan's muttered comments did hurt him. He gladly absented himself with Robyn to help her wash up later.

The announcement that shattered everybody's evening occurred just after they'd almost all been laughing at a repeat showing of 'Only Fools and Horses'.

"Might as well keep the news on" Robyn said, not wanting to get up from her comfortable position on the sofa.

They watched the news, and at first there were no major disasters or conflicts reported. Ben would never forget the order in which the news items were given out. Just after the one about Madonna making a return to cinema the following year, the newsreader announced:

"There was tragedy today in the small Mid-European country of Corvaine when Princess Sara was shot to death by an assassin. Her killer died instantly at the hands of an expert marksman but the Princess died on the way to hospital. There has been unrest in the background in Corvaine for…"

Everybody was looking in horror at Ben, who had moaned out:

"God, no… not my Sara…" and had collapsed, weeping brokenly, in Dylan's arms. Dylan, now anything but hostile, realised where Ben had been for the past few months, and this was confirmed when a grainy photograph of Prince Stefan was shown on screen.

For the friends sitting in that room, Christmas was over.


	19. Chapter 19

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER NINETEEN

A/N: Apologies that this chapter is all about Ben, the balance between characters will be better for the next update.

Dylan had wanted Ben to come back to the hospital with him so he could be given a sedative but Ben was insistent that he had to return to Corvaine as soon as possible.

"I have to see her" he said quietly, "I have to be there for her."

Dylan just gave him a quick hug, sorted out the air and train bookings, and then a taxi to the station. The truth was that Dylan was stricken with remorse now he knew what Ben had been put through, and the agony he was going through now.

"Take care, Ben. We'll be here for you when you come back."

Ben just nodded bleakly and for once, Dylan didn't take offence at this.

The rest of Robyn's visitors sat around miserably. Both Ethan and Robyn's eyes were red from weeping, Max looked stunned, Zoe and Cal looked weary to the bone.

"He's got a son. Ben, with a son" Max said incredulously.

"I wish there'd been some way for them to be together" Robyn whispered, "Or that he could have been there with her till the end."

"No" Zoe replied, "Ben being Ben, he'd have thrown himself in front of her or died with her and we'd all be mourning him now."

"I know what I think" Cal said darkly, "I'll not feel he's safe until he's back in the UK again. I don't like the sound of those buggers-oh, sorry Robyn, I'm just being tactless."

Sophia had been persuaded to go to bed and try and sleep. She didn't need this unhappiness in her condition. Yet, being only human, she couldn't help grieving for Ben, who she'd hardly met but knew him to be genuine. She found it hard to sleep.

Robyn sighed.

"It's what we're all thinking, Cal. I think we all need a strong tea and then to try to sleep. Anybody want any food?"

Everybody declined, Ethan included. Normally Cal would have teased him about this but this situation was beyond humour.

Ben was 'met' by a deputation at the airport who made sure that he was as unobtrusive as possible as he was escorted through. He wondered if a stupid reporter would ask him a tactless question and he thought bring it on. If it had been a man, Ben would have thumped him, a woman would have received a tongue lashing she'd never forget. But he was just escorted to the car and driven to the Palace.

David awaited him.

"Benjamin, I am so sorry-"

"-Can I see her?"

David put his hand on Ben's arm.

"Yes, of course. I'll show you the room."

Ben couldn't help it; as he was shown down the corridors, he clutched David's arm.

"Please don't let them bury her near Stefan. She was afraid of him."

David's expression, though managing to be compassionate at the same time, held no hope for Ben. Sara would have to be buried next to Stefan.

"And Alex? What happens to Alex now?"

David hated what he had to tell Ben.

"He's been taken to stay with other members of our Royal family, Ben. They're the best people he could be with now."

"So I don't even see my child? David, you know something? I just want to leave this place for good and then deal with the fallout the best way I can."

Ben was at last taken to the room where Sara lay. David tactfully withdrew for a while. Sara could have been sleeping; she looked peaceful enough and still beautiful but the warmth and the hidden smile that had always lurked just beneath her grave expression were gone forever. Ben kissed her lips and whispered:

"I'll love you till I die. Alex is safe, darling. Sleep now."

Then he was being taken back again, escorted to his own apartments, to a meal he'd never be able to eat and a bed he wouldn't sleep in.

On the day of the funeral Karl accosted Ben.

"You will keep calm. We must have no sobbing and dramatics from you; you will attend the funeral as Stefan. Don't worry, you will not have much longer to play your role; the Prince is going to succumb to his illness very shortly."

Ben still managed to feel a little queasy that the Prince's body had been preserved for so long. Well, he thought wearily, the poor bastard will be buried soon enough.

And suddenly a suspicion insinuated itself into his mind. A suspicion that, a few months ago, would have made him very uneasy. One that now just left him numb.

He attended the funeral and did what Karl had demanded. No sobbing, no dramatics. He would have been incapable of either; Ben's soul was dead so there was no effort needed for him to impersonate the cold-blooded Stefan.

It was as he was making his way back to the apartment that he and Sara had been so happy in that Karl came towards him.

"I feel I owe it to you to let you see the crypt where the Princess will lie, Benjamin. Follow me."

Karl's face seemed to be without malice for once and maybe this should have warned Ben. But Ben was too drained to think logically and followed him down the steps.

Deep in the core of the Palace, a cold, bleak chamber with two coffins prepared.

"Poor Sara. She was so warm and full of life."

"I expected such sentimental crap from you. But you will serve us one last purpose, Ben. The people will want to see Prince Stefan's face at his funeral. Not the face of a man who has died from a wasting disease; the face his loyal subjects expect to see."

The meaning hit Ben like a sledgehammer. To Karl's fury he nodded calmly.

"Of course. Just get on with it."

Karl's smile was chilly as he took out the gun.

"Nobody will hear us in this crypt, Ben, so I'm going to make your death slow."

He aimed for Ben's gut.

"You're talking to a man who doesn't give a shit whether he lives or dies."

Karl sniggered.

"Wait till the pain begins."

Ben heard not one, but two shots. After the initial burning pain, he realised two things. The pain was in his leg, not his gut, and Karl was lying beside him, eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling, a hole in the middle of his forehead.

David, still holding the gun he'd fired, came over.

"I wasn't going to let him kill you, Ben, we've taken enough from you. Help's on his way."

"Sara…"

"I'll make sure she won't be buried next to Stefan, Ben. Please believe me, I never realised Karl meant to do this… I was suspicious when he led you down here, and followed."

All the time he was talking, David was staunching Ben's bleeding with a handkerchief.

"The ambulance will be here soon."

"Thank you, but…"

David looked sadly at Ben.

"You wish you were in your grave?"

"Just that."

"I understand, believe me. At least you saw your Sara looking peaceful. I only had memories of Anton after they'd sent him off to another pointless war to keep us apart."

"You're gay?"

David nodded.

"Anton was blown to pieces. Nothing left of him."

Ben grasped David's hand.

"One more thing, Ben, before help comes. You will see Alex again. This country is on the verge of revolution – of course, as the Prince, you would have been the last one to be informed about the state of your own country."

Ben would normally have laughed at this irony.

"I'll be taking him to a safe country. From there, it will be easy to bring him to see you now and then."

Something to live for, was Ben's last thought as he sank into unconsciousness.

When he came round, he learned that he would be sent on a quiet flight direct to the UK as soon as his wound was sufficiently healed.

A month later, he was sitting in a wheelchair and being taken through Heathrow airport, ready to put his shattered life back together as best he could.


	20. Chapter 20

ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER TWENTY

"Ethan?"

"Liza! Wonderful to hear from you! How are your parents?"

"They're fine, thanks. I thought you'd be annoyed with me for spending Christmas with Mum and Dad instead of with you."

"No; I've learned that we need to appreciate the people in our lives while we still have them."

Liza's voice was concerned.

"What's brought that on, Ethan?"

"A friend of mine's been through hell last weekend. His wife died – was murdered, actually – and he's in pieces."

"I'm so sorry."

"We all are; he's a lovely guy. It's taught me to make the most of life though."

"Good attitude. I rang to see if you wanted to go to the theatre next week? Do you like Shakespeare?"

"Depends which play."

"Much Ado about Nothing."

"Now that one I like."

"That's good because I've got you a ticket for next Friday night. If-" Liza chose her words as carefully as she could, "-If you could get to the theatre I'd be able to sort out wheelchair access for you."

"Will you still be sitting with me?"

"Of course."

"I'd love to go please. But you have to let me buy you dinner afterwards."

"Sounds like a good night out to me."

"What's wrong with you? You don't usually sing in the house."

"I don't, but my gorgeous girlfriend's treating me to Shakespeare and I'm treating her to dinner so it's all good."

"Has she seen you eating before or should I warn her?"

"I eat like a gentleman!"

"You do; it's the size of the portions that'll creep her out."

"Cheeky sod… Cal, something's been on my mind. It got pushed to the back with everything that's happened to Ben, but… did you mean it when you said I could start looking for a flat?"

"Only because you were acting like a pillock!"

"Ah. Not that I'm thinking of being under your and Sophie's feet forever, you understand?"

Cal looked seriously at Ethan.

"We will need space once the baby gets bigger, but you can take time to look. Hey, Liza will probably be able to tell you about all the scams and loopholes that happen with flat hunting."

"Possibly but you don't think I'd make my girlfriend talk shop in her free time?"

Liza and Ethan enjoyed 'Much Ado' and Liza didn't even raise her eyebrows when Ethan, hearing Beatrice's chilling line "Kill Claudio" and being disgusted by that character's chauvinistic attitude, blurted out "Yeah, go for it!" louder than he'd intended.

"That was great" he enthused afterwards.

"Oh I could see you were getting right into it" Liza teased him.

"I just hope you enjoy the meal as much as I've enjoyed the show" Ethan said.

"When would I ever not enjoy a free meal?" Liza grinned.

Ethan sighed as the taxi drew up at Liza's flat.

"A gentleman would help you to your door."

"You don't have to prove you're a gentleman to me, Ethan. I'll be fine and you need to keep dry. I'll call you tomorrow if that's okay?"

"Please."

He kissed her, wishing it didn't have to be through a taxi window.

As soon as he'd paid off the taxi and wheeled himself up to the door, he let himself relax. He'd had to ration alcohol for so long now because of the amount of painkillers he had to take. Tonight he'd enjoyed the wine and the slightly woozy feeling it had given him. He began to bawl "Sigh no more, Ladies, Sigh no More" at the top of his lungs as he came wheeling into the lounge.

Only to see the unexpected guest sitting in the armchair opposite Cal and Sophia, an icy stare on her face.

"Hello, Ethan. Enjoyed the play, I see."

"Oh Mrs Beauchamp, I'm so sorry."

Cal smirked at Ethan over Connie's head.

"You will be" Connie said, allowing her face to relax into a smile, "I called to discuss Cal's new job with him."

"New job?" Ethan looked perplexed.

"I want him back on the team – part time to begin with – as soon as possible. How would you feel about that?"

Cal waited for the outburst but Ethan merely nodded.

"I could manage; I could call my Girl Friday, Sue. She'd come and check on me in the day."

"Excellent."

"Where's Sophie, by the way?"

"Feeling a little under the weather" Cal told him, " I think Christmas got us all down a little, what with everything that happened to Ben. She's having a snooze."

"That reminds me" Connie's interruption was the gentlest they'd ever heard from her, "Ask Ben to have a word with me sometime. I'm in need of another nurse on the team and – well, better for him to keep busy than brood and upset himself."

Somehow Cal couldn't see work being a cure for somebody as broken as Ben was.

"I hope you told her where to go when you rang her?" Dylan said, outraged.

"No, actually. Dylan, if I go back to work I can start to heal people again. I wasn't there for Sara and that will haunt me till I die. But I can help others, Dylan. The only thing I've insisted on is that I can take time off at short notice if – if David keeps his promise to bring Alex to the UK sometimes."

"I'm going to speak to her tomorrow" Dylan said, his eyes suddenly becoming more animated.

"No, please; I do need this-"

Dylan gave him a half-smile.

"I want her to let you work with me again."

"That-" replied Ben, "That would help me a lot."

Cal remained anxious about Sophia for a good couple of months, then she seemed to find her strength again, and by Easter she was what the romantic writers would call 'Blooming'. Ethan had found his flat, and though he was nervous about being alone, insisted that it would be best for all concerned. Sue had promised to come straight over any time Ethan felt uneasy or afraid.

Ben began back at Holby and though at first he found it difficult to cope with all the well-meaning but painful questions, with Dylan's help he took up his own job again.

He'd had another call from Nicky Lascelles, asking how he was. Nicky didn't know the full details but knew Ben had had to withdraw from the West End musical project because of 'a personal grief'.

"I'll be writing and producing a new musical from early next year, Ben. I'll check to see if you still want to do it, and if your voice is still up to it, if you're interested."

Ben suddenly remembered how he'd wanted to be with Sara at a West End musical. If he were to perform in one after all, it would mean that in a way, Sara would be with him. She'd be in his mind and heart; he'd be singing for her.

The healing process was well under way.


	21. Chapter 21

ROLE CHANGE TWENTY ONE

Ethan wheeled himself into the kitchen with a smile on his face.

"I know you love your grub, but that smile's because of a bit more than it being breakfast time" Cal said. He knew that look.

"Read this" Ethan grinned.

"Oi, keep it out of my porridge, then!" Cal salvaged the letter that Ethan had launched at him before it could be spoiled, which was probably as well.

The letter had Grover and Kellerman's logo at the top.

"More payout?" Cal gasped.

"Better. Read it!"

"Some of us have to get ready for work…" Cal began to grumble. Then he saw the full letter. Offering Ethan an interview for a part-time post at Grover and Kellerman for the following week. Ethan would never feel secure again working as a doctor after the attack on him, but a clerical post meant he could pull his weight and probably be able to spend breaks with his girlfriend as a bonus.

"Brilliant! I'll see if Mrs B will let me go in a bit later so I can help you get ready for the interview next week."

"I can wash myself, cheeky bugger. But I'd like a bit of moral support on the day, Cal."

"And you'll have it. Now let me get to work. Your breakfast's good and hot so get it down your neck."

Ethan took a look, all but crowed:

"Bacon!" and began to devour his meal.

He could hardly swallow a bite the following week.

"Look, Nibbles, nobody's going to condemn you if you don't get the job, are they, Sophie?"

Sophia, who seemed to get even prettier with each month of her pregnancy, smiled:

"No. It'd be brilliant if you did get it, Ethan, but not the end of the world if you don't. You could just keep looking for clerical posts."

"Now" Cal told him, "You look great. The definitive Admin worker. Your taxi's due in five-"

"-I need a pee" Ethan gasped and ran upstairs.

"Dylan."

Ben handed over the letter to the doctor, who read it with his usual deadpan expression.

"It'll do you good to see him, Ben."

"Do you think he'll know me? I mean, I know he'll not quite be one when David brings him over, but…"

"He'll remember you as somebody who was kind to him."

Ben shuddered.

"I often wonder how Karl spoke to him. Babies are more intelligent than we give them credit for…"

Dylan almost cracked a smile.

"You're talking to a doctor, Ben. I would know that."

Cal came into the lounge to find Ethan with his head in his hands, sitting in darkness. He quietly switched on the main light.

"So you didn't get it. Don't let it get you down. I bet you gave it your all at the interview."

"They won't be writing to let me know."

"That bad? Well, it's the first rejection so-"

"It's not a rejection. They told me there and then that I could start next week. Cal, I'm scared. What if I can't hack it?"

"You great fool, of course you can hack it. I hope you're hungry."

"Sorry I didn't feel like cooking."

"Just as well; I'm going to take you and Sophie out to celebrate this!"

"We're not going to that place where they thought we were gay, are we?"

"Why does everybody _ask_ that?" asked Cal, rolling his eyes.

Ben's breath caught in his throat as David handed the small boy to him. He could see Sara's eyes looking up at him and felt an overwhelming sense of love and responsibility.

"So like her. David, thank you for this. Thank you. Is it okay to take him out to meet a couple of friends? They'll be discreet."

"Of course."

David wanted to tell Ben, but couldn't bring himself to, that in a couple of months discretion in Corvaine might not matter any more. The civil unrest there was increasing and David feared that, despite the rigid protocol he was forced to observe, he might have to get the baby out of his country for good.

He looked at Ben's shining eyes as he sang a nonsense-song to his son, and knew he couldn't shatter Ben's happiness again. Not this time.

"Look!" Dylan said as if he were talking to a much older child, "This is my big dog. Now she won't hurt you if you don't make her jump. This is Dervla. Can you remember that?"

Ben suddenly thought of how Sara would laugh at this surreal dialogue from the doctor, and pain sliced his heart again. But it was good – more than good! – to have his son near him once more.

Dervla wagged her tail. She wasn't sure quite what this little human creature was but it was quiet and wasn't pulling at her. She decided she liked it and suddenly licked the small face. Alex, snuggling deeper into Ben, began to cry at the strange sensation… then gave a low chuckle.

"He likes my dog!" Dylan actually beamed.

All too soon the visit came to an end, and Ben gave his son one last cuddle then reluctantly passed him over to David.

"See you soon, darling" Ben whispered to the little boy. David fervently hoped so.

The months moved on. Ethan was now past his probation period and a permanent member of staff at Grover and Kellerman. Cal was becoming excited and more than a little anxious as October drew nearer. He knew the baby was due at the beginning of that month.

"Ooh, I'll be glad when this baby's born" Sophie sighed, "I feel as big as a carthorse."

"The most gorgeous carthorse I've ever seen" Cal told her as he kissed her goodbye.

He cast a mock-baleful look at Ethan, who, not due in the office till ten that day, was enjoying his bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms.

"Well, Mr Administrator, some of us have to work the early shift. See you later."

He kissed Sophia gently.

"See you tonight, darling."

With that, he was off for another day at Holby.

"Are you sure I can't wash the dishes? I'm perfectly capable."

Ethan looked in reproof at Sophie.

"You'll sit there and read that daft magazine you've got, and take care of my nephew or niece."

Sophie was enjoying reading about Johnny Depp's new film, another dark magical one directed by Tim Burton, when the first twinge happened. She bit her lip and then returned to her interview as the pain subsided.

Five minutes later it was back, sharper than before. Again, she swallowed down the discomfort, again it calmed down.

The next minute she was screaming:

"Ethan, please call an ambulance!"

"RTA? Yes, I know what a RTA is but my brother's girlfriend is having a baby! She needs an ambulance- oh God! Are you absolutely sure?"

He waited for the answer, which made his heart sink.

"Liza, I'm sorry, this has to be a quick call. I might be late today."

"It's okay, Ethan, the accident and road block have both been on the news. We'll believe you."

"It's worse than that" Ethan replied, "Sophie's about to give birth-"

"Oh bless her, how much 'about'?"

A yell from Sophie soon told her how much 'about' meant.

"Ethan, just come in when you can. Tell Sophie we wish her all the best."

"Thanks, love. Coming, Sophie!"

Ethan felt relief that he knew all about hygiene. But could he hack this one, assisting an actual birth, with the woman his brother loved?

He hurried to boil the water and get the towels.


	22. Chapter 22

ROLE CHANGE TWENTY TWO

FINAL CHAPTER. THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS.

Cal, his face almost white, came hurrying into the Maternity Unit.

"Are you all right, darling?"

"Never better!" She indicated the cot beside her.

"And look who's here – your daughter!"

"But…"

Cal had expected to learn that either Sophia or the baby were undergoing an operation. He couldn't believe that Ethan had delivered the baby himself.

"Ethan and Liza were stars."

"Liza?"

"That girl's a keeper, Cal. She took an emergency day off work and went to join him at home."

"But the RTA and roadblock?"

"She walked – or rather, sprinted."

But Cal was hardly listening, though he nodded to show he understood. He was looking adoringly into his daughter's sleeping face.

"I know you wanted Matilda for a girl, but it'd be nice to include Ethan as well because of his looking after me."

"You're not going to call our daughter Ethan? Or-" Cal shuddered – "Ethel?"

"No, twerp, there's an Irish name, Aithne," Sophia spelled it, "That's pronounced "Ethnee."

"Now that I like. Matilda Aithne Eliza Knight. Or Anderson-Knight, whichever you prefer?"

"Caleb Knight, are you proposing?"

"If you want me. We can go and get the ring when you're a little better."

"Better? I've never felt so good in my life!"

"I mean, when you're up to shopping, Minx!"

"If I didn't want to wake our lovely daughter, I'd thump you!"

"Thump me – but please say if it's yes or no!"

"What do you think, darling?"

"It's a yes from you?"

"Certainly is!"

Ethan called Liza at her office a week later.

"Hi, are you free to talk?"

"Absolutely!"

"Fancy pushing my wheelchair round London next weekend?"

"I'd push your wheelchair to the ends of the earth, gorgeous, but what's happening?"

"You know the new Pride and Prejudice musical? Guess who's got front row tickets for us?"

Liza gave a very un-lawyer like squeal.

"So you like that, then?"

"I love it!"

Ethan steeled himself to be brave and said:

"Um… do you want a single room of your own?"

"No, I want a double disabled room so I can look after the man I love properly."

"The –" Ethan's heart was bounding inside him now, "You've just made me ridiculously happy, Liza!"

"I'm going to make you even happier. I'm taking you to dinner tonight to thank you for next week's treat."

"NOT that place where-"

"Ethan, don't even begin to say it!"

David managed to bring Alex over to see Ben twice during the next year. One of the visits was at Christmas, which helped to ease the pain Ben would always feel in his heart at that time of year. Dylan was thrilled – though nobody could have told it from his face – because Alex shouted "Big Dog, Big Dog!" when Dervla came trotting into the room.

"We might be moving to France or Germany soon, Ben. Things in Corvaine are becoming worse – we've had two general strikes in six months and there have been demonstrations against the Royal family already."

"Not much of a Royal family now, with Stefan and my Sara gone."

Ben hastily changed the subject before he gave in to misery again.

"Maybe I could visit you and Alex if you move."

Ben recalled all this now; time had flown by since that conversation, and Alex was two and a half. Like the news item that had torn out his heart previously had come out of the blue, so did the next one. He was relaxing after a favourite television programme, enjoying that state of idleness where it was too much trouble to switch off the TV set.

"The small mid-European country of Corvaine is in a state of revolution. The Crown Prince Alexander has apparently disappeared along with his guardian David-"

Ben's cry of agony cut off the rest of the sentence. He switched off and went mechanically to the bedroom, where he lay, too devastated for tears, his heart physically hurting his chest.

He wondered how easy it was to die of a broken heart. At this moment he felt it was possible.

He almost didn't hear the frenzied knocking.

David, with Alex in his arms, stood at the door.

"This is a fine welcome for your son and your friend, Benjamin!"

Weeping with joy, Ben engulfed them both in a hug. Then he ran to switch on the heating.

"I just managed to get him out of there before the destruction really began" David told him, "He made things easier for me because he's such a quiet little boy. One day I'll tell you about our journey, it was -er – not a pleasurable experience."

"This is your home as well as Alex's for as long as you need it", Ben reassured him.

They all seemed to doze on the sofa until morning.

"Morning, Alex" David ruffled the toddler's hair as he woke, blinking. Alex was about to cry until he saw Ben smiling at him.

"Nice Ben!" Alex smiled back.

"Do you want to go and see my friend later? The one with the big dog?"

"Big dog! Big dog!" whooped the small boy.

"What's Big Dog's name?" David asked gently.

Alex looked scared.

"Big Dog" he persisted, his lip quivering. He hoped the mean-eyed man he remembered wasn't coming to shout at him for being stupid.

Ben smiled.

"What do you shout to Big Dog when you want her to come and play with you?"

Alex beamed. He DID know!

"Derber!"

"Close enough."

"Alex" David said gently, "What about calling Ben 'daddy' from now on?"

"NOOOO!"

Ben felt a little hurt but didn't push things.

"Shall we go into Ben's kitchen and make breakfast?"

David held out his hand. Alex refused it.

"Noooo! Want Ben!"

And Ben realised, contentedly, that it didn't matter whether Alex called him ratbag in future, as long as the little boy liked him.

They all sat round at Robyn's, everybody making sure Alex was the most important guest at the party. Max showed the little boy tricks to make him giggle, Ethan, who was now walking with just a stick and no longer needed the wheelchair, read him a story, Robyn cuddled him. Liza, the beginnings of a round little belly making her dress bulge a little, looked at Alex and dreamed of her baby that would be due next Summer. Matilda Knight kept smiling across at Alex – "The little minx, she's starting already!" Cal crowed, while her baby brother Ryan Mark slept contentedly in his mother's arms.

"By the time he gets used to being here, it'll be time for him to start school" Ben told Dylan happily as they discussed Alex's future.

"But what about things like a birth certificate? Not wishing to put a damper on anything" Dylan said bluntly.

David laughed.

"Dylan, I've passed Ben off as a Prince, I created several official documents in the process – are you saying I won't be able to forge a simple birth certificate?"

Ben and Dylan laughed aloud, even though Ben was silently addressing Sara:

"Look, darling. He's safe. He's happy. And soon I'll tell him about his beautiful mother. It doesn't hurt so much now, darling, and I have my lovely son safe and sound with me, but I'll love you till I die. And I'll make Alex happy, my love, I swear."

Humming contentedly, Ben carried Alex back to the party.


End file.
